Of all the people skills that help a person to have “Genuine Influence” perhaps none is more important than a well-developed sense of empathy. But here’s something interesting: while many believe that in order to have empathy, you must understand exactly “how the other person feels”, as we see in Influence & Success Insights Video #16, titled, “The Beauty of Empathy”, that’s simply not the case.
Those who master the art of tact will find that ideas of theirs that at one time would have almost automatically been resisted by others are now much more consistently and readily accepted. But, aren’t the facts themselves important? Sure they are. But, as we discover in Influence & Success Insights Video #15, titled, “Tact, The Language of Strength”, because we’re so often dealing with people whose emotions and egos supersede their logic…while facts matter, they don’t necessarily persuade. People persuade.
As important as setting a positive frame is (as we learned in the previous video, doing so correctly puts you 80-90 percent of the way toward your desired result) the fact is, we’re not always able to do so. Indeed, sometimes the other person shows up with an already negatively set frame. What to do then? As we see in Influence & Success Insights Video #14, titled, “RE-Setting…Their Negative Frame” the good news is that you can quickly, gently and easily move the other person’s frame to one of mutual cooperation; from adversarial to one of being allies.
What if there was one thing you could do in the influence and persuasion process that was SO powerful that doing so correctly actually put you about 80-90 percent of the way toward accomplishing your goal while also helping the other person to come out ahead? Well…there is. And in Influence & Success Insights Video #13, titled, “Set The Proper Frame” you’ll learn exactly why this is so.
Last video we saw that in the process of influence and persuasion it’s very important to understand what and how the other person thinks. We also explored why our own personal belief systems can make accomplishing that very difficult. On the other hand, as we discover in Influence & Success Insights Video #12, titled, “Understanding THEIR Belief System” it is something you can do, IF you’ll take action on two important ideas.
A big part of becoming a highly-effective, Genuine Influencer, is to be able to understand the other person. After all, when you know what they need, want, and desire, you’re in a much better position to help both of you attain mutually-beneficial results. But this can be much more difficult than it seems.
In the previous video you began the process of retraining your brain to respond in those normally difficult people-situations as opposed to reacting. Now let’s complete the process. In Influence & Success Insights Video #10, titled, “Retrain Your Brain, Part Two” we learn how to take it from understanding to application. Your results will be truly extraordinary.
In the last post we looked at the immense difference between “reacting” (negative) and “responding” (positive). But, how do we do ensure that we respond, despite what someone else says or does that might normally elicit our negative reaction? How do we…take back control over our emotions so that our emotions are working for us rather than against us?
So often there are words people use interchangeably but when digging just a bit deeper we see that they are actually very, very different. We saw an example of that just two videos ago regarding “persuasion” and “manipulation.”
It’s self-evident that those who are able to maintain control of themselves and over their emotions in difficult interpersonal situation (and practically any situation) are not only the most effective people, but the most admired, most respected, and most influential people, as well.