Bob is author/coauthor of numerous books on sales, referrals, influence, persuasion, and people skills. His business parable,
The Go-Giver, (coauthored with John David Mann) is an International Bestseller with well over one million copies sold and published in 30 languages.
Join “The Go-Giver® Success Vault” and have access to all of Bob's online courses plus much more at
TheGoGiverAcademy.com.
As important as setting a positive frame is (as we learned in the previous video, doing so correctly puts you 80-90 percent of the way toward your desired result) the fact is, we’re not always able to do so. Indeed, sometimes the other person shows up with an already negatively set frame. What to do then? As we see in Influence & Success Insights Video #14, titled, “RE-Setting…Their Negative Frame” the good news is that you can quickly, gently and easily move the other person’s frame to one of mutual cooperation; from adversarial to one of being allies.
What if there was one thing you could do in the influence and persuasion process that was SO powerful that doing so correctly actually put you about 80-90 percent of the way toward accomplishing your goal while also helping the other person to come out ahead? Well…there is. And in Influence & Success Insights Video #13, titled, “Set The Proper Frame” you’ll learn exactly why this is so.
Last video we saw that in the process of influence and persuasion it’s very important to understand what and how the other person thinks. We also explored why our own personal belief systems can make accomplishing that very difficult. On the other hand, as we discover in Influence & Success Insights Video #12, titled, “Understanding THEIR Belief System” it is something you can do, IF you’ll take action on two important ideas.
A big part of becoming a highly-effective, Genuine Influencer, is to be able to understand the other person. After all, when you know what they need, want, and desire, you’re in a much better position to help both of you attain mutually-beneficial results. But this can be much more difficult than it seems.
In the previous video you began the process of retraining your brain to respond in those normally difficult people-situations as opposed to reacting. Now let’s complete the process. In Influence & Success Insights Video #10, titled, “Retrain Your Brain, Part Two” we learn how to take it from understanding to application. Your results will be truly extraordinary.
In the last post we looked at the immense difference between “reacting” (negative) and “responding” (positive). But, how do we do ensure that we respond, despite what someone else says or does that might normally elicit our negative reaction? How do we…take back control over our emotions so that our emotions are working for us rather than against us?
So often there are words people use interchangeably but when digging just a bit deeper we see that they are actually very, very different. We saw an example of that just two videos ago regarding “persuasion” and “manipulation.”
It’s self-evident that those who are able to maintain control of themselves and over their emotions in difficult interpersonal situation (and practically any situation) are not only the most effective people, but the most admired, most respected, and most influential people, as well.
There’s a question I’m often asked regarding the concept of influence. Basically, people wonder if influence is the same as manipulation? As we explore in Influence & Insights Video #6, “Persuasion vs. Manipulation” Influence itself is neither positive or negative. How it is manifested, however, definitely is.
Genuine Influence, where you are able to attain the results you desire when dealing with others, and in a way that is benevolent and uplifting to all concerned, is always a matter of understanding that ultimately, it’s about them. And in a way that is meaningful to them.
