The following is excerpted with permission from an exchange with Julie, a subscriber from Nebraska. A while back she asked for my opinion regarding a situation she was experiencing and I encouraged her to read one of my favorite books, The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. While the entire Book is terrific, the chapters…
After a recent speaking engagement, one of the attendees, brand new to the profession of sales, confided in me that he felt he needed to get better at doing a “harder close.” I suggested that, instead of a harder close, it might be better for him to reframe it as a “helpful close.” (Of course,…
In Parts One and Two we saw how effective it is, when in a disagreement, to point out the other person’s side of the issue first. It works in business. And, it works just as well in interpersonal situations. By doing this, we first establish our credibility, and then what we say on our own…
In Part One we discussed how effective it is in the persuasion process to actually first vocalize the opposing party’s views. What a great way to lower their feelings of defensiveness and create a positive context for him or her to be more accepting of your viewpoint. One of the best examples of this style…
One of the most effective ways to positively and gently “disarm” a person with whom you are having a disagreement, plus win them over to your side of the issue, is to first point out their side of the story. In other words, discover and vocalize the areas in which you agree with them –…
Monday morning, just after 8am. Sitting at my desk, I was enjoying a delicious cup of – what else? – Dunkin’ Donuts coffee; relaxing while reading some blog posts, articles, political thought, and feeling appreciative and grateful. Then, suddenly, while reading one commentary, I was so offended that my mood shifted. About five seconds later…
In Part One, we saw that, since not everyone believes in win/win negotiating, we need to be prepared for those times when someone will try and take advantage. Seldom has this been accomplished as perfectly as by Mark Comiso. Now, let’s look at exactly what he did to turn his “opponent” around and move him…
Naturally, as adherents to the philosophy of Positive Persuasion; i.e., Winning Without Intimidation, we believe that negotiation should always be win/win in nature and result in a similar outcome. But, let’s face it; there are those who don’t feel the same way. It’s important that we are aware of this. Remember, it’s not called “Losing”…
Are there really persuasive phrases that work like magic? Even with those difficult-to-deal-with people? Yes, there are. And, there’s one that is perhaps the most powerful and effective of them all. A reader asked: “Bob, as you know, some people are just not helpful, and they don’t plan to be. I’ve heard you mention what…
Several years ago, my friend, the great Cajun humorist {sort of like a stand-up comedian with a message}, Dave Petitjean sent an email to his contemporaries asking for comments he could use to teach some of his young protégés the importance of keeping their humor “squeaky clean.” Despite not being a humorist, I was included…
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