In Part One we discussed how effective it is in the persuasion process to actually first vocalize the opposing party’s views. What a great way to lower their feelings of defensiveness and create a positive context for him or her to be more accepting of your viewpoint.
One of the best examples of this style of Winning Without Intimidation was the 16th U.S. president, Abraham Lincoln who, early in his career was a very successful lawyer. It was well known that he would typically begin his opening arguments by summing up the other side’s case. He would point out the positive aspects of their position, and how very worthy they were of consideration. In fact, it was said that if you walked into the courtroom at that time, you’d actually think he was representing that side!
What Mr. Lincoln was doing was establishing his credibility with the judge and jury, and demonstrating that he was seeking only the truth – that he realized both sides had a legitimate view. Wow! Now, when it was time to present his client’s side, he’d really pour it on. But, he could get away with doing that because his credibility factor was now so high.
After all, the judge and jury reasoned that, if he was so willing to give credibility to the viewpoint of the other side, he must be honest and be speaking straight from his heart.
You can duplicate President Lincoln. The key is to genuinely speak straight from your heart. Even if you don’t believe they have a legitimate point, you can at least communicate that you understand they believe they have a legitimate point.
In Part Three, we’ll look at how this works in personal situations, along with a major caveat of which it is very important to be aware.
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Yet again, Bob, I find myself delighting in the SPIRIT of your words, as well as the practical advice they contain. I revel in your constant insistence on respect. Respect for oneself. Respect for others. It really is Square One for all interactions. Bravo, and thanks!
Wow, thank you, Heather! What a kind compliment!
“The key is to genuinely speak straight from your heart.”
Of all the admirable points in your posts two stand out each time I read one> 1. They are absolutely efficient in their expression, coming to the point and not taking a lot of time to peruse (this, I believe, is especially important in “today’s world”) -btw, last time I checked that’s the world we’re living in- & 2. There is always a summation, a ‘key” which can stand alone to represent the central message. If this post were a piano performance it’d get a rave review.