Last post, we discussed the importance of having one’s Default Setting on calm and serene rather than on an opposite, negative state such as panic, anger or upset. But, can one really change their default setting after living with it for a lifetime?
Absolutely. Just follow these six steps:
- Decide you want to change and that from now on your “default setting” is on calm.
- Vividly imagine that the next time a potentially upsetting situation occurs, you go into “calm.”
- Actually default to calm when the next such situation occurs.
- Forgive yourself if you slip up (we all do!).
- When you do default to calm and serene, take great pleasure in the fact that you did.
- Know that, since you did it once, you have the ability to do it every time.
In his book, Building Your Self-Image and the Self-Image of Others, Rabbi Zelig Pliskin relates wonderful advice for a person staying in “calm default” when under pressure from – in this particular case – an intimidating person. He writes:
“I asked a person I once met how he became so skilled at staying calm under pressure. He said, ‘I pretend that everything that happens is on a large video screen. Every person I interact with is part of the scenery. I’m the only person that is alive and real; everyone and everything else is just what I see on the screen of my mind.
‘My choices of thoughts, words, and actions are like a game I am playing on the screen. I always maintain self-respect and respect for others, but nothing anyone says or does will intimidate me. If someone raises his voice and yells at me, I imagine the clown on the screen acting like he has lost his temper. I don’t have to worry as long as I’m not in physical danger.
‘I keep asking myself, “What would be the wisest thing for me to think, say, and do now?” Because I keep calm, I am able to think more objectively.'”
Great advice. Sometimes, we need to play “mind games” until we overcome a particular negative trait and turn it into something positive. Changing your default setting from panicky to calm will do wonders for you in both your business and personal lives.
James Allen, author of the Classic, As A Man Thinketh wrote:
“The more tranquil a man becomes, the greater his success, his influence, and his power for good. He is like a shade-giving tree in a thirsty land, or a sheltering rock in a storm.”
And, we can all be more like the person Mr. Allen is describing. We just need to change our default setting.