To edify, according to one definition in Webster’s, is “to build.” When you edify a person, you literally build them up in the minds of other people and, perhaps most importantly, in their own mind, as well.
Edify a person, to others and to themselves, even for the things you wish they would do. They’ll soon begin to “believe their own press” and start adopting the traits and behaviors for which they are being edified.
“Jim sure is precise in the way he fills out his reports.”
“Mary, I love how you always handle people with such great tact.”
“My spouse is the most supportive partner in the world.”
“Dave, one thing about you—you may be direct, but you are always fair.”
When in doubt as to what to say about someone or to someone—edify! You can hardly ever go wrong.
For an example of how edification helps you in the selling process, click here for this brief video.
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Love this one, Bob. SHORT … and sweet! A timely reminder that we have opportunities to edify the important people in our lives every day and in so many ways. The ability to produce praise at any given moment — even for someone you may disagree with — strengthens us as professionals.
Thanks for the video and excellent post, Bob! You are absolutely right, edification is such a huge aspect of not only promoting relationships but also building trust and loyalty. It is a healthy means of encouraging others…and I believe encouraging oneself. I always feel energized and in good spirits, when I give compliments or support. Keep up the terrific work!!
Mike, thank you. Yes, always better when they’re short, aren’t they? 🙂 I’ve been working at it; not always easy for me. LOL And, thank you for your excellent thoughts!
Chi Chi, great wisdom you shared, my friend. Thank you!
Ha ha. This reminds me of how I have been working with my 2 year old daughter. She is a bit of a pistol. I have been telling her things like “You are such a good girl!” and “You are so sweet!” and it is helping to improve her behavior.
This is a powerful post Bob! Thank you for writing it.
Bob, I just used some building words in a sticky situation on Friday and it SO works. I had spent three weeks out of my Bridal Salon and came back to find in our shipping department, a “new system” in place. Upon examining the new system, I decided that the old one was more efficient. The lady who started the new system has been on our team a few months and learns by observation while not being so open to being “intentionally taught.” Intentionally taught here meaning, being directed in any form or fashion.
Having learned this about her quickly, I have taught her by making sure she sees me doing the things she needs to know. She is extremely observant and bright; so this method has worked very well with her. However, it is not her pattern to re-observe and re-learn something she thinks “she has figured out.” While loving her “self starting attitude”, I knew I had to confront the “intentional lesson” I needed to give her. I didn’t know how I would react to her, because there are many things I haven’t dealt with as a leader and I know I develop daily in this area. I responded with building words and I am very pleased with the end result.
Here is what happened; Friday, after a few directives from me, on the shipping system, I could see that she was getting annoyed. She flat out said, “You are on my last nerve.” LOL I backed off, but later walked into the room where she was getting ready to hang some gowns, in the wrong area. And I said, “Oh, I want to show you the order those go in, so they are easy to get to.” She literally stomped her 60 year old feet like a five year old and threw twelve bridesmaids dresses on the chair while saying, “Oh no you don’t, you will not follow me around telling me what to do.” I said, “………You ARE teachable, you HAVE a teachable spirit and it IS possible that I show you the correct order in this system.”
She stood with mouth open then turned to pick up the dresses and hung them in the wrong place. I began to move the gowns as I said, “I am now hanging these according to the wedding date and this gives you a place to look without having to scan thousands of dresses to find the one you are looking for.” All of this was done in a respectful and helpful tone otherwise it wouldn’t have worked. I turned and walked away. But looked back one more time and gently said, “……… You ARE teachable.” She followed me and cheerfully said, “I AM teachable aren’t I?” I said “Of COURSE you are.” As she walked away, I could hear her gently edifying herself, “I AM teachable!”
🙂
The “building kind of words”, brought a happy ending to an “intentional teaching”, that could have otherwise gone a wrong direction. It seems that I learn more and more from my team every single day. I didn’t realize this until now, but I love building and I’ve made it my job to build! What a wonderful job!!!!
Bob, Thank you for the great examples of how to edify and the reminder!
Amy, Wow–thank you for sharing great story. It is an excellent example. You are an AMAZING Leader!
Amy, amazing again! I hope you are going to include that story in your soon-to-be-written, bestselling book. Great job, my friend. And, thank you for sharing that with us!
Kathy, thank you. And, yes, I agree about Amy. She IS, isn’t she?
Russ, what a great idea regarding your daughter. Very cool!
I like this idea, Bob because it rings true. When I honestly and respectfully reflect someone’s good qualities, I realize just how much I feel that way–more so than I knew. In addition, I build my own sense of self-regard for noticing something that may not have been obvious to others or even to the person themselves.
A very wisdom-filled comment, Maridel. Thank you so much for sharing that with us!
Great stuff Bob. You know how I feel about this. This works ! You get so much more out of people and help them, with Praise and Encouragement, than you do with criticism. I think Dale Carnegie might have mentioned something similar. Like Mike, I like the short and sweet ones too. (Maybe it’s that darn ADD) The following quote is so true. Thank you for the reminder.
“Treat a man as he is, he will remain so. Treat a man the way he can be and ought to be, and he will become as he can be and should be.””
Always love reading your posts. This one goes right along with the CARE acronym: Communicate, Appreciate, Respect, Encourage.
Thanks again Bob.
Al
Thank you, Al. I always appreciate your kind and thoughtful comments!
This reminded me that when I build up others to others and themselves it reminds me of the special qualities all have. Each on of us unique and that is our power.
Great points, John. Thank you!
What you focus on is what grows! If you focus on people’s good points guess what happens 🙂 I remember a teacher at school telling everyone how punctual I was – I have never dared to be late for anything since! Didn’t work on a ski-ing lesson though – I heard the instructor telling the class to watch me as I really had the move nailed…. I lost concentration and ran smack into a snow drift lol!
Hi Susan, that’s awesome on the first part. “Ouch” on the second one. Glad you’re okay! 🙂
LOL it was a long time ago – body was fine, pride very bruised 🙂
🙂
Great post Bob. I feel we always tend to look at the negative and easy to criticize constructively, however the importance of praising and letting the receiver know the value you see in them assists with morale and more of a positive attitude.
Thank you, Scott. I appreciate your comments. In fact, they would have been equally profound regarding the blog post on the 18th, as well, regarding Tim Sanders’ book. Thanks Scott!
Hi Bob, I think this is something that’s so important. I moved my son to a different school last year because of the way he was communicated too. At the new school, they have an entirely different approach and that is putting the child first, they’ve been very effective at using this lesson and my Son is now a much more confident person. So absolutely, do what you can to support someone you know. Thanks Mark
Thank you Mark. Very powerful, indeed. The way children are spoken to can make such a huge difference in their level of confidence and feeling of self-worth. Thank you for sharing that. And, I’m glad your son is having a much better experience at his new school.