The following question is actually a “compilation” of questions I’ve received from many readers in the past:
“Bob, I can see where so much of ‘Winning Without Intimidation’ works for those who, when in conflict with another, can control themselves the way you suggest. But what about those of us who, for example, have a temper that cannot be controlled because it’s just a part of our basic makeup and we cannot change it?”
Thank you for writing. I so appreciate your question because, just by asking, it shows you have a desire to change even though, right now, it may seem like a virtual impossibility. Please don’t worry. It’s very possible. In fact, you can overcome this and the quality of your life will improve dramatically as a result.
By the way, please know you’re not alone. I can relate. As I’ve shared before, anger was a major problem for me for a large part of my life. Once you’ve successfully conquered your anger challenge, then, for the rest of your life, you’ll wonder why you ever allowed yourself to go so long without overcoming this very destructive trait and, instead, adopting the characteristic of inner peace.
In fact, the character trait of anger is a common one and I’m sure many readers were nodding their heads in agreement as they read your question.
* Please note that, for the sake of this discussion, I’m talking only about unhealthy anger. There is a time and place for legitimate anger and how to effectively channel that for a positive outcome. Here we are only discussing the negative and counter-productive variety.
The Sages asked, “Who is mighty?” and answered, “That person who can control their inclinations.”
In Part Two we’ll begin looking at some steps you can take master this trait…and master yourself.