The late John Wooden; great human being and Hall-of-Fame coach of the record-setting UCLA basketball team (10 national championships in 12 years), wrote about the traits of “courtesy, politeness and consideration.”
“People like to help, to be polite, to be considerate. I believe it’s basic human nature. And it’s a funny thing; when you start displaying courtesy, politeness and consideration, people start displaying them right back.”
“But” one might ask, “shouldn’t one do this just because it’s right?”
Sure. However, the results are simply the natural and benevolent effect.
“But, isn’t it contradictory to be nice if it’s serving a direct purpose?”
In my opinion, just the opposite. It seems perfectly congruent to be nice and obtain satisfaction, as well. Why would we want to be any other way?
This point is endorsed by a famous general not known for having a sunny disposition. In his book, General Patton’s Principles on Life And Leadership, Porter B. Williamson quotes the General, displaying his true knack for understanding positive persuasion principles.
According to Patton, “…{T}he Golden Rule should be written, ‘What you do unto others is the way you are going to be done unto!'”
Patton even quoted a master of people skills, Benjamin Franklin who said, “If rascals knew how much money they could make by being righteous, the rascals would become righteous through pure rascality!”
Well, we could debate the motives all day long, and maybe even pick it apart philosophically if we really wanted to. Instead, I’d suggest we just do the right things and act (be) the right way.
First, just because it’s right.
Secondly, because it elicits the other person to do the same.
Finally, because it’s simply a great way to obtain satisfaction from others…and have everyone come out a winner!
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Bob,
My parents used to say no matter what you do make sure your heart is in the right place. If it is, you will get back what you give. If it isn’t, it will be revealed. Amazing how that philosophy continues to ring true in my ears today.
Hi Bob. Interesting post. I think if you are nice, YOU ARE NICE. there are a lot of people who try and manipulate others, through any means possible. If you are raised to be nice and respectful, you will more than likely be that way thru life. If you are not a nice person naturally, you can always make the CHOICE to change. It’s your choice !
Like you said Bob, being nice is the right thing to do, it encourages the same in others and it makes people happy. A win, win situation for both parties involved. Thanks.
Al
Bob,
Great article – love the rascal quote from Benjamin Franklin! I have witnessed this play out so many times, but most frequently while traveling. I have seen the exact same gate agent care very little about the struggles a very rude passenger was experiencing and then immediately go the exta mile to help a polite one, in the same situation.
I think the key here goes back to being “Authentic”‘(as a matter of fact-I think it always does)! Most people seem able to differentiate between those who are nice and those who are acting nice to gain a result they want.
Again – great post!
GREAT post Bob!!
It seems some are “nice” because, well… that’s just the way they are. Some become “nice” because of what they will receive and this is fine too. For some, being “nice” eventually becomes second nature, regardless of the reason they first set out to be “nice.” The trick is being “nice” when your instinct in a situation is to be otherwise. In the end, being “nice” pays off. Thank you for this thought provoking post.
Sabrina
As always, great post! Great comments, too. I think that sadly, too many people think that if they are “nice” they’ll get taken advantage of or be viewed in a negative way by their peers. You provide great insight as to why it’s the best business (and personal) practice to be nice!
The law of attraction at work – I’ve learned I have to give it away in order to keep it. I give off peace, kindness, compassion etc. and I end up feeling more of the same in my dealings with others. It works quite well. Thanks for sharing this with us.
Thank you, everyone. What terrific, feedback, comments and wisdom you have shared with us. Thank you for taking your time and energy to add so much value to the conversation!
Intriguing post, Bob. In certain instances, my motives to be polite, courteous or considerate can change through an experience or situation. My intentions may not be …well..completely “pure” in the beginning but can turn authentic towards the end : ) LOL, just being honest! Thanks for allowing me to share. Keep up the good work!
Hi Chi Chi, I don’t think the intentions even *have( to be pure in that – we might not *feel* good about this person at the moment but we know that by taking on the attributes that are being discussed in the post, we will change ourselves, and *that* is what is going to change the other person. The result is that everyone will feel good about the transaction. So, my feeling is…don’t let purity of thought KEEP you from doing the right thing. Do the right thing and the purity of thought will follow. 🙂
Chi Chi, one more thought: I think Sabrina summed it up perfectly when she said: “The trick is being ‘nice’” when your instinct in a situation is to be otherwise.”
Ok! Merci beaucoup, Mon Ami! Thanks for Sabrina’s great tip as well : )
I think we teach people how to treat us by how we treat them. And sometimes we need to teach them that lesson a few times before they get it!
I agree Susan. I also think we teach people how to treat us by our responses to their actions. Thank you for sharing with us!