In a recent post on her Facebook page, my friend, Alice Flanders (one of the funniest people I know, and who has no idea how funny and profound she so often is) related the following:
“I was thinking of attending an event. The host told me I could bring my kids for free. I told her I never had children. She said that was ok…I could bring my grandchildren.” 🙂
Now, it sounds as though the host had a lack of reasoning skills at work there, but I’ve done similar. And, I mean some doozies!
I once was speaking on my cellphone as I was getting ready to leave the house. Running a bit late, I found myself in somewhat of a panic…because I couldn’t find my cellphone!
Have we all done things like that, or just me (and Alice’s event host)?
Would love to hear some of your similar experiences, either about you, or someone you know (of course, if it’s about someone else, no names please) 😉
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Thanks for the morning chuckle Bob…I could easily write an entire book on such things my ummm….ahem….friends have done. One “particular friend” went to an event in downtown Atlanta to meet up with Loral Langemeier. After enjoying a wonderful time and having made many new friends it was time to leave. My friend reached for her purse and started digging around for her keys. She dug and she dug until in total frustration, and with everyone around her having checked the seats, floor and tables around where she had been sitting, dumped her purse out on the table. Totally panicked for not being able to locate her keys one of her new friends suggested driving her to where she parked her car thinking my friend must have left her keys in the car. ‘Where did you park your car?’
“I used the valet,” Boy was my…I mean my friend’s face red. I won’t even share part two that started with the words, “Would you validate me?” to the bar manager. I think I have embarrassed my friend enough for one post.
Thanks for the laugh, Bob.
I did the cellphone thing last week myself! Whew. Glad to know I’m not the only one.
Here’s one:
One time my mom was parallel parked and when she got in her car, she was confused for a second because the steering wheel wasn’t there. She’d accidently gotten in the back seat instead of the front!
Peggy
Hi Peggy, actually, I thought *I* was the only one who did the cellphone thing. LOL. That’s cute about your Mom! 🙂
Bob, I too have done the “where’s my cellphone” while having it in my hand. Or the car keys. And when I realize what I’m doing, I’m the one who laughs the loudest!
I have done the cell phone thing, and looking for keys while I was holding them etc. One time when I first got my driver’s license, it was snowing very hard. the visibility was below zero. (I realize that is impossible). I had parked in the parking lot across from our house while I shoveled the driveway. Then I went to get the car to drive it into the driveway. I stationed my mom outside the car since I could see nothing. I wanted her to watch for me. I started to back up. Clonk!!!!!!! I got out. I had hit a parked car. Mom was still standing there. (she didn’t drive). I asked her why she didn’t let me know I was getting too close to that parked car. She said “You told me to watch for cars, nothing came.”
Bob-
Thanks for passing this on to all of us who read your blog. Not only was it funny, it is a reminder not to panic when we do such things ourselves. We’re in an environment in which people tend to think medical “Uh-ohs” when such things happen to us or those to whom we are close. So it’s good to remind ourselves: “No, Dad isn’t losing his mind, he just can’t find his glasses which have slipped down his nose!”
Wayne
I won’t say my moms name, but we were speaking on the phone and she said she was trying to find her phone. I giggled and asked if she was on it? I could hear her shuffle, as if looking under her body to see if she was sitting “on it.” LOL Then she called out to my step dad, asking him to help her find it. I could hear him asking where she had it last.
Again I asked, “Mom, are you on it?” She said to my step dad, “Look uner me, because Amy insist that I’m on it.” LOL Again I hear her shuffle as if rolling over and I could hear my step dads voice telling her it’s not under her. LOL
I looked on my phone to see what number I had dialed: Was I talking to her on her cell phone, or home phone? It was her cell number, so I asked if it was her home phone that was missing. It wasn’t, Nope, it was her cell and I knew I was talking to her “on it.” (that would have been a good time to reframe the “on it” question, but this was comedy in the natural. I didn’t want to mess with this funny scene.)
After several more minutes of hearing her and my step dad discuss the possibilites of where it could be. I said, “MOM, YOU ARE ON IT.” LOL Being a good daughter, I laughed out loud as she told my step dad to look under her again. She told me “This isn’t that funny so stop laughing so hard.”
It was time to let her off “the hook.” (pun intended) I said “Mom, what is in your right hand?” Nothing, “how about your left?” At which she answered, “My phone Amy, stop this I’m trying to find my phone.” Ba ha ha I said, “Mom, look at the object in your left hand.” Her voice got distant as she was looking at her cell. “Well here it is,” To my step dad she said, “Amy helped me find it. I was ON IT. Oh, that kind of “on it.” Now came the roaring laughter for which I had been waiting. LOL
Hi all, I think this is going to be another one of them where, instead of commenting individually, I’m just going to sit back and read and enjoy these. Your stories are awesome. I hope these continue to come in. You all ROCK!
For me, it’s often with my keys. Then when I realize they’re already in my hand, my favorite response to myself is “OK, I guess I’ll just use these until I find the real ones.”
My mom and dad once came out of a restaurant to find that their Toyota mini-van had been stolen.
They called the police and then called me to come pick them up. I went into the garage and found the van in the garage. They had driven their other car.
I grinned.
When I pulled into the parking lot to pick them up they pointed at their van and started running after it yelling “there it is. Stop thief!”
I had a little fun with it for a minute or so, driving away from them. When I pulled up they were so embarrassed. 🙂
Sorry… I have another one. 🙂
The Super Bowl was about to start when my wife’s aunt called from Tampa… we are in St. Louis.
My wife said to her aunt: “What’s the score?”
Her aunt said: “The game hasn’t started yet.”
My wife: “I thought you were an hour ahead of us.”
🙂
It was a dark stormy night and I looked frantically for my eyeglasses as I need them to drive. I needed to leave immediately so as not to be late for my meeting. I checked everywhere that they could possibly be; my desk, the piano keyboard, the dining room table, upstairs, my coat pocket back and forth up and down the stairs all to no avail. Just as I was about to give up and assume that I had to miss my appointment, I’m sure you’ve guessed – I WAS WEARING THE DARN GLASSES!!!!
OK…I can’t resist…this is too much fun. I will once again hide the name of the participant to protect his innocence and refer to him with his nickname….”DAD”. So many, many years ago I came upon “Dad” in what appeared to be a very frustrated frame of mind as I watched him pounding numbers on our push button wall phone in our restaurant. I asked him what he was doing. His response….”I was trying to call your cousin Ricky and I keep getting this stupid message that says, ‘Hit pound’. “I’ve pounded the numbers numerous times, but it isn’t working.”
( It’s in the genes….good lord, it’s in the genes)
Not gonna lie Bob, I was hoping this was an event you were hosting that we could bring our kids to. One where we could trade.
“I have one starting college, I will trade you for one in 2nd grade.”
“I’m not trading for any babies”
“I don’t want to trade, I thought this was a drop-n-go”
And so it would go, btw, I just want to donate to this cause. 😉
Jean
I put all my groceries in the back of the white truck I borrowed from my brother. And as I walked towards the truck, after taking the basket back to the front of the store, the truck began to drive away. I had put my groceries in the wrong truck. LOL I never ran so fast while waving my arms in the air, in all my life.
Ok, Bob, you’re right. I should post it here too.
This is not an April joke, guys, it really happened to me this morning, after having read Bob’s post.
When I brushed my teeth this morning, instead of putting toothpaste on my brush, I put body lotion on it. It’s pretty disgusting and now I’m wondering how in the world I’ll be able to say to my clients that my body lotion is the best. LOL
When out for a stroll one day when my twins were babies, I had my daughter clothed in a pretty pink dress and my son outfitted in a navy blue Onesie. A woman came up to me and said “oh what a cute pair of twins, a girl and a boy?” Yes, I said, indeed they are. She then asked me… are they identical?” After the laughter subsided inside, I replied with the straightest face possible… “No I don’t think so, at least the last time I changed their diapers they weren’t”. 🙂
These are all too funny! I will tell this one – One day I was at home, talking on the phone but knew I was going to be late for an appointment – so I rushed around, grabbed everything I needed and ran out to the car. About 100 feet away from the house my phone went dead. I tried everything to get it to work. Finally I pulled my cellphone out of my purse, called the telephone company and reported that my phone stopped working for no reason.
You got it – I was talking on my cordless house phone when I drove away!
I was laughing too hard (or maybe too embarrassed) to call the telephone company to tell them what I did!
Thank you ALL. These are some of the funniest stories I’ve ever read, and I so appreciate y’all taking the time to share with us. As I said earlier…you all ROCK!
This story was one my mom shared with me a long time ago. My mom was at a gas station and saw a woman driving from one side of the pumps to the other, over and over again, in circles. Finally my mom asked the woman what she was doing. The woman told her that her gas tank was on the passanger side and she was trying to find a gas pump on that side of her car as all of these pumps were facing the driver’s side of the car!
GREAT STORIES! Wonderful way to celebrate the 1st of April. Not only are your “commentors” smart, they are very funny too. Love reading all of these!
Dondi, will you post a funny one too? 🙂
I read your blog quickly yesterday before a sufficient amount of coffee flowed to my brain:)… Sure, the lack of reasoning (you can’t have grandkids if you don’t have kids) was apparent; however, the grandmother aspect made me think “foot in mouth”? Well I just remembered a “doozie” that was about both lack of reasoning and making assumptions! I told my son’s 7 yr old friend that his grandfather had arrived. Oops… this silver haired man was in fact his mom’s 30 something, pre-maturely gray boyfriend! Oh and yes, Bob…. I have looked for my cell phone while on a call on that very cell phone on more than one occasion! I hope these cell phone moments were more about being busy and rushing:)
OMG – I am laughing so hard at these!!!!
At our radio station, all of the doors have keypads for entry rather than using keys. On more than one occasion(you’d think I’d learn after the first time) I arrive in the morning, go up the elevator with my car keys (with the keyless remote attached) in hand. As I walk up to the door of the studios, I push the “unlock” button on the remote expecting the door to unlock.
Guilty of the phone thing, the keys-already-with-the-valet-thing, leaving my purse in a shopping cart and then finding someone else’s cart and swearing mine was stolen. My very favorite – and yes I worried about impending brain damage – was on a very long trip up north, talking in the front passenger seat to my husband who was driving and all of a sudden my fingers were getting pinched in the window that was being rolled up on my side. I yelled at my husband to stop and ‘he’ did. Then it happened again. I am OUTRAGED at my husband and why he would want to keep hurting me in such a mindless fashion. You guessed it, I was pushing the auto window button on my very own hand, repeatedly, unconsciously.
These are hysterical posts! Thanks to Bob & all who shared!
Bob, how reassuring these comments are to me,
as like your other readers, I too have been
guilty of most of them. I now live in
fear of the phone ringing whilst I’m ironing!
Such the perfect post for April Fool’s Day…
Last week, someone told a group of us that he’d been trying to remember the singer of the song, “Sailing.” He said, “I know it’s Christopher something. Without hesitation, I blurted out, “Columbus?” It took me nearly 10 seconds to realize what I’d said. (Don’t rack your brain (or Google it), it’s Christopher Cross) 😉
I relayed some of these stories to my dad,
which made him laugh and he admitted to doing
similar things, in fact he said “I’ve done some classics
recently” then paused and said “but I can’t remember
them” – we did laugh!
Funny and lighthearted post, Bob. Well, some sweet children who I tutored in French, wished me a Happy Mother’s day last year. I told them that I was not a mother. So, Father’s day approaches and they wished me a Happy Father’s day. LOL I just smiled and accepted their kind gesture : ) Thanks again for the nice post and allowing me to share…