I enjoy many of the posts my friend, Alice Flanders shares on her Facebook page. She often posts stories regarding incidents in her life. Many are funny; some are sad. There’s usually a lesson containing some very fine wisdom, although I’m not she sure always realizes it. She’s a much better teacher than she thinks she is.
Recently, she shared about the time years ago when she worked in a privately-owned nursing home in her home state of Maine. A mandate from state government came down stating that, from now on, all residents were to be addressed only by their prefix and last name.
According to Alice:
“I walked into the room of one of our long-time residents and called him Mr. _____. He immediately became angry at me and said, ‘I have been called {his nickname} since I was two years old. Don’t call me Mr. _____ now!’
“My take on that was that the state was wrong. Instead of mandating that all people be called their official name, we should instead ask what they prefer to be called and then call them that.”
Exactly, Alice.
Now, please don’t misunderstand. I believe it is totally inappropriate when health-care practitioners automatically call a patient by their first name (usually adding insult to injury by calling them by their formal name, such as William when the person goes by Bill) while referring to themselves as Dr. Smith. Especially when Bill is 70 and the doctor is 35.
But, it’s certainly not up to some elected official or bureaucrat to make that decision. It’s up to the facility leadership to make that decision and see that it is enforced, and that the residents are treated with the respect they deserve.
And, this applies to most any other interpersonal situation in life – if you want to know how a person wants to be addressed, take Alice’s advice…ask them. Then, address them that way.
Wow, what an idea! And, no legislation necessary.
Your thoughts?
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if you want to know how a person wants to be addressed ASK THEM….. I agree 🙂
Thank you, Helen.