Yesterday’s post elicited quite a few comments, both from cat lovers and lovers of The Five Love Languages, the bestselling book by Dr. Gary Chapman. One sent to me privately by my friend, Susan Somerset Webb, was – in my opinion – particularly gripping:
“In the late 70’s I left Chicago and a long term boyfriend (quite wealthy) to move to Florida because I didn’t feel loved by him. I told him this many times before I left. Fast forward many, many years later when we reconnect and over dinner he asked, ‘Tell me again why you left me?’ When I told him I didn’t feel loved (he never told me he loved me) he replied, ‘But I gave you everything.’ I would have replaced all the material things with one single ‘I love you.'”
His Love Language was gifts. Hers was words of affirmation.
In the title I used the word “chilling.” Why? Because it brings to mind just how many relationships have been damaged due to this lack of understanding of one’s own and one’s partner’s love language.
The good news is that perhaps Susan’s story can motivate the rest of us to take the concept very seriously. I guess, in that case, then… it’s not chilling at all, but rather encouraging.