Thus far, in our series on gossip, we’ve covered five methods of, not only breaking our own negative habit, but helping others to do the same.
But, just because we’ve improved – perhaps dramatically – in a certain area, doesn’t mean we’re perfect. In fact, based on my own life, I can definitely say perfection is not an option. 🙂
So, if (or when) you slip up and find yourself gossiping, don’t berate yourself. It’s okay to feel a little badly about it, but don’t emotionally beat yourself up. Instead, take the following steps:
#1. Acknowledge your mistake (you’re only human, after all).
#2. Amend your mistake by apologizing both to your Creator (if this relates to your belief system), and, if possible, to the person you harmed with your words (this isn’t always possible without further hurting them so – depending upon the unique and individual situation – be careful in your decision).
#3. Decide and be determined not to do it again.
#4. Rinse and (DON’T) repeat. The next time a similar situation comes up where you have a chance to gossip and you don’t do it, you’ll know you’ve taken a huge step. Congratulations!
And, if instead, you mess up again? Repeat the above four-steps. You’ll get the hang of it…and you’ll be healthier and happier as a result.
Of course, you can always review the past three articles whenever you feel you need a refresher in overcoming the gossip habit.
Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Speech is power.” It is. It truly is. And, like every other principle of life, it can be used for good or for evil, to help or to harm, as a blessing or as a curse. It is up to you and me; all of us, to use that power in a way that benefits and builds instead of denigrates and destroys.
I’d love to hear your personal stories regarding anything we’ve discussed in this series. Of course, don’t mention names, 🙂 other than yours. And, if it would help for you to remain anonymous, that’s fine, too.
While this series now ends, we’ll be back with more on this topic down the road.
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Bob, what a great subject! I know one time in middle school my big sister told me it was silly to give up chocolate for lent, and she said, “Why don’t you give up something useful like gossip?”This changed my life! I’d like to think I never went back.
But I have noticed that when I make a point of number 4- really acknowledging when I’m saying non-useful words, to apologize out loud by saying, “I’m sorry – we don’t need to be talking like this.” It does help change the direction of things. (like last week when I had a reunion with my 4 sisters and we’d sometimes start railing on our sweet and imperfect mother!)
Perhaps with family and those we love the most it is easiest to be careless and forget about the power of death and life wrapped up in our tongues.
Thank you for these articles they will help tremendously. I also appreciated the comment form Gina Parris where she finds herself getting back into it and stops herself by saying “I’m sorry-we dont’t need to be talking like this” . I plan on making that one of my favorite sayings as I have found it is hard to stop a story after I started. I have been looking for a way to change the conversation when I realize I have ventured where I should not have.