Let’s continue our discussion of “Empathy” — perhaps the most powerful business skill, people skill, or even life skill, of all.
A Business Example: In the context of sales, empathy can be effectively communicated when understanding that — while *you* may be totally comfortable with the sales process and the very personal questions you might need to ask — it might be a one-time situation for the other person.
Thus, they might be feeling uptight, nervous, naive, or even defensive. They might have questions they want to ask but don’t know if they’ll come across as unknowledgeable or ignorant by asking.
There could be a number of reasons that they feel uncomfortable — reasons you can’t possibly know or understand. And you sense this.
Key Point: Remember, empathy isn’t necessarily understanding exactly how they feel. Rather, it’s understanding that they’re feeling *something* distressful and communicating that you are there to help them through it.
That’s so important. Because from that foundation, you can now work with them in a way that they are able to become comfortable with the process.
The How-To: It might be as simple as utilizing an “I-Message” (in order to put the onus of the issue on you) such as, “Elizabeth, it might just be me. I’m sensing that you…*might* possibly be a bit uncomfortable with certain aspects of this process. Please know that’s totally and completely natural. And that’s exactly what I’m here for — to help you and to clarify for you. I’ve pretty much heard all the questions and concerns, and I welcome them all.”
This lets Elizabeth know that you are in tune with her feelings and allows her to feel safe in communicating to you whatever issues and questions she has.
Naturally, the situations and wording will vary depending upon your line of work and the worldview of your prospects, customers, and clients.
Conclusion: The degree of empathy that you’re able to communicate is the degree to which people will feel comfortable opening up to you and trusting your counsel.
Yes, some are more natural at this than others…but it is totally a learnable skill.
Exercise: Stay conscious of opportunities to empathize with others, and notice the deeper level of connection that inspires.
