Those who *take pride* in being “brutally honest” are typically much more interested in being brutal…than they are in being honest.
Key Point: Honesty, of course, should be a very high value. When communicating a truth, tact and kindness should be paramount as well.
Bonus: An honest, tactful, and kind approach also happens to be much more persuasive.
People are considerably more likely to be open, responsive, encouraged, inspired, and motivated to receive and accept feedback — and commit themselves to the suggested idea or action — when it’s provided with tact and appropriate direction than they are if feeling verbally attacked and brutalized.
While some people who give feedback in that “brutally honest” way truly do see it as a point of pride, others simply don’t have the tools to do otherwise. They’ve never been taught or have not personally witnessed/experienced the alternative. Perhaps the example you set can introduce others to this different — and better — way.
Exercise: Notice the difference in effectiveness and results regarding those leaders, friends, spouses, etc. who communicate their honesty brutally and those who do so tactfully, thoughtfully, and kindly.
Then, do it the second way, not the first way! 😉
