To paraphrase Upton Sinclair, “It is difficult to get a person to understand something when their income, their ego, or their self-identification depends upon their not understanding it!”
In other words…”cognitive dissonance” (a feeling of discomfort when very strongly-held beliefs conflict with new, contrary information) is something we all need to be aware of…in the other person and in ourselves — *especially* in ourselves!
This is part of sales, of leadership, of personal relationships, and certainly of politics.
It Affects Us ALL: Cognitive Dissonance is an aspect of human nature that — if not understood and worked with appropriately — could hold you back from being as successful as you otherwise could be.
When someone is attempting to persuade you — and you find yourself feeling defensive — question your premises and ask yourself if your own cognitive dissonance might be at work.
When attempting to persuade another whom you believe is under the influence of cognitive dissonance, understand that simply spewing facts at them will not accomplish your goal.
Just the opposite is most likely to occur, causing the person to instead cling even more firmly to their current position.
Key Point: This is where the relationship is so important. He or she must absolutely trust that you have their best interests at heart.
Only then will they be open, allowing you to help them to work through this dilemma.
Personal Discovery: Cognitive Dissonance was a huge issue in my life for many years. Only after learning about it, acknowledging it, and determining to stay conscious of it did I see changes in my own effectiveness.
It takes work…and it’s well worth it.
Exercise: Think back to a time when you were operating based on cognitive dissonance, but you simply couldn’t see it at the time. I’ve done this. It can be rough to even think about.
However, it’s a very beneficial exercise to do because it helps us to become more aware when we do that in the present.
