It’s so very important to not fall victim to the “false dilemma” — the unnecessary use of the word “or.”
More often than not, it’s an “and” rather than an “or.”
Example: When you were a little kid, were you ever asked, “When you get older, would you rather be wealthy *or* happy?” That is a false dilemma. The correct answer is “both” — wealthy *and* happy! 🙂
Often there is a third option altogether. In other words…
Key Point: Rather than buying into limited, false choices, actively question the premise itself.
Beware: There are people who will present you with the “either/or” false dilemma — two options in order to ensure that you will accept one of them. (This is okay when at least one of those options serves *you.* The problem is when either option will serve them, and neither will benefit you.)
Action: If you believe this to be the case (or if you’re feeling uneasy about these choices but cannot yet determine why) simply pause and take a breath. Tactfully let the person know that you’re not comfortable with the choices and will need to consider further.
Then…consider further.
Again, when you are provided with a false dilemma by someone, tactfully and diplomatically refuse their offer. Depending upon the situation, you might instead present an alternative.
Exercise: Imagine some false dilemmas with which you might be presented, and practice your responses so that you are prepared in advance. This way you’ll be acting out of a sense of consciousness and confidence.
