“Great leaders and top-producing salespeople develop tremendous influence because they focus their actions on looking out for the other person’s interests and serving their needs.
They prefer to give the credit away rather than take it for themselves.
Rather than aspire to be kings, they seek to be kingmakers.
They are constantly on the lookout for ways they can add value to other people’s lives—and in the process they become enormously successful leaders, influencers, and salespeople (not to mention friends, parents, and community members).
Think about the men and women you know who most embody the above. Feel free to share with us any personal stories and examples that come to mind.
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This one struck a cord or was it a nerve!?
I would consider myself a kingmaker. The attributes you state, strive to I exhibit.
But how can you be and effectively successful kingmaker without being down trodden, taken advantage of, overlooked or even worse stabbed in the back by those you only sought to help?
I find the kingmaker role very fulfilling when you see the other being successful through your actions and encouragement. But without some form of recognition it is also very discouraging and disappointing.
Am I doing something obviously wrong?
Hi Keith, thank you for your question. The short answer is that if you are displaying the qualities of a kingmaker (as described in the post) and being taken advantage of, overlooked, stabbed in the back, etc., I want to assure you of something: that this is happening because, in some way, you are providing the context for this to result. In other words, there’s something else you are doing (or not doing) that is causing this to happen. Please understand that placing the interests of others first (which is exactly what the great leaders and salespeople do) should never be confused with being a doormat, a martyr, or self-sacrificial in any way. Without knowing your exact situation or what you are doing/not doing that is eliciting this result, I want to suggest that you get together with someone for whom you have great respect and who is very successful and ask if they would counsel you in order to determine what you are doing/not doing that is bringing you these results. Remember that in order to be successful in any field you must be able to provide (and communicate) exceptional value to the marketplace and touch the lives of many with that exceptional value. The best way to do that is via placing their interests first, and doing so in an authentic manner. Then, you must be able to allow yourself to receive all the abundance that you have earned via the previous suggestions. Please check back in and let us know how things are going. I have no doubt that you’ll find out what the root cause is and adjust accordingly!
Interestingly that’s exactly what I’m doing. My coach is John Maxwell trained and has helpmeet to identify and correct self-sacrificial behaviour.
In order to help others it is important to explain what a kingmaker is not.
Thanks for your insightful feedback and keep up the good work!
Awesome, Keith. If your coach is John Maxwell trained then you are definitely on the right track, my friend!
Hi Bob. Thank you for this post. I am a Kingmaker – and a Go-Giver (coincidence?)
THANK YOU for naming it and putting some definition around the joy I find in helping others get where they want to go. I’m constantly met with questions from my friends and family who say things to me like “dont you want to (write / build / design) your own (book / program / thing) instead of helping others reach and achieve?” The way I have described my work in the past, is that there is a speaker on stage, and I’m just off stage left, with the headset and the clipboard, making sure the speaker is successful. I like your way better! 🙂 any support, other examples or ideas on how to communicate the value of a Kingmaker is greatly appreciated. –Remy
Remy, thank you for your kind feedback and great thoughts! Sounds like you’ve tapped into what you truly enjoy and provides you with energy and fulfillment. That while (and, as a result of) adding exceptional value to the lives of those you touch. Way to go!
Hey Bob,
As ever you are so spot on.
From the moment I first read “The Go Giver back on 11th April 2010, I realised I was a Go-Giver and I have been most of my life.
And it’s been amazing. I love Zig Ziglar’s well known quote “You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help enough other people get what they want.”
I never knewI was a Kingmaker! I like that; I like that a lot.
To Bob Burg – long live the King! 😉
Dickie, thank you for your great feedback. And, indeed, Zig’s quote is a classic and world-class wisdom. Thank you for your comments, and your kindness! 🙂
I’m definately a kings maker as in my career I have made few people successful. Currently I speak in wonen events and the comments I get is I inspire them and they want me to be their mentor. I get great satisfaction when I bring positive changes to ones career and help them to succeed.
Fantastic, Sara. Keep up the great work! Sounds like you are influencing and touching people’s lives in a very positive way. Thank you for sharing with us!
Bob- Thank you for the article. I love the metaphor!
Keith- May I recommend you check out Adam Grant’s book: Give & Take? He’s a Wharton Prof that spent 10 years researching the difference between givers, takers, fakers and matchers. Along with being a great read it may help you spot the takers and even more importantly the fakers. If your pressed for time YouTube is full of interviews that hit the high points but the book goes so much deeper. Please keep doing what your doing only remember what the stewardess tells you before taking off on a flight; to put the emergency mask on yourself first before others.
Joe, thank you, Greatly appreciate your kind feedback. And, I love your suggestion to Keith. Adam Grant’s book is one of my all-time favorites.
{To listen to my interview with Adam where he shares some awesome wisdom from his book, visit https://www.burg.com/2013/04/give-and-take-an-interview-with-adam-grant/}
Thanks Joe, I appreciate the tip and thanks Bob for the link?