I’ve always found that one of the easiest pieces of advice to give someone is, “don’t worry.”
I’ve also always found that one of the most difficult things for me to do is…not worry.
Sort of like surgery: it might be “minor surgery” but only when it’s someone else’s. It’s never minor when being done on us or someone we love.
There are so many fantastic sayings regarding this topic, aren’t there? “Worry is interest on a debt not owed.” Another favorite of mine, most often credited to Mark Twain is, “I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.”
So true!
Yet, we’re human. And, we worry.
In his excellent new book, Worry No More! transformation life and business coach and podcaster — not to mention, marathon runner — Bruce Van Horn defines worry as:
“Using your imagination to create images of what you do not want to see and/or events you do not want to occur.”
He’s not actually saying that we should never worry. After all, there are times when worrying can be helpful; those instances when it is constructive and serves to put us on a more correct path. Mostly, however, it’s quite counterproductive and often tormenting; robbing us of the joy and peace of mind that is our natural state.
Without going into his methodology for overcoming worry, it’s very helpful to understand his premise. Basically, “Worry is a movie {we create in our} mind, complete with detailed settings, and talented actors who perform their parts perfectly and convey all of the emotions the movie director has told them to use.” He continues, “You are the movie director and the entire cast and production crew are simply acting out the parts you have scripted for them.”
Makes sense, doesn’t it? Now, getting the mind of the director correct, that’s where it all begins. And, in this book, the author does a fantastic job in that department.
Meanwhile, as Bobby McFerrin would say, “Don’t worry, be happy.”
Sure, Bobby. Easy for you to say! 😉
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Bob, what a wonderful gift you are to the world and to me! Thank you for sharing me and my work with your audience!
Very helpful read — thanks!! “Using your imagination to create images of what you do not want to see and/or events you do not want to occur.” “You are the movie director and the entire cast and production crew are simply acting out the parts you have scripted for them.”
Oops — I missed checking the box for notifications of follow-ups. This post takes care of that. 🙂
Bruce: My absolute pleasure. Thank YOU. You’re book has helped me greatly already and I know it will do the same for the millions who will read it and benefit from your wisdom, as well!
Patricia: Thank you for your feedback and comments. Very well-said!
Methinks ALL of this stuff eventually works its way back to the power of the mind.
I suspect the top performers in any endeavor are the ones who also say “gimme the ball” because their vision has been crafted from their mindset, and they can effectively compartmentalize “worry” into attacking how to get the task at hand done while remaining cognizant there might be impediments along the way.
Muhammad Ali used to talk about boxers and was of the opinion that they all are probably within an eyelash of each other when it came to “skills”, but the ones who rose to the top were the ones who had the greatest “will”even to the point that will trumped skill. And he beat (among many others) two guys who on paper he didn’t stand a chane against…Liston and Foreman.
Great post, as usual, and many thanks to Mr. Burg and Mr. Van Horn.
I am off to cast the players in today’s blockbuster movie. (Don’t wait for this one to come to cable).
Phil: Thank you for your kind feedback and your right-on-the-mark insights. I think that is edge-maker, as well. And, I agree with you regarding the two that Muhammad Ali beat that – based on style and other factors – he never should have been able to; Liston and Foreman. Best of great success in creating your movie today. I WILL look forward to it on cable, though. Should rank right up there with the greatest movies of all time!
Thank you for this great share, Bob. Learning not to worry has been a lifelong practice for me. What has really helped has been the clarity of hindsight after a particular issue has been resolved. Did my worry contribute to the solution? No. Did my balanced thinking and actions? Yes! Over the years I have developed a practice I call “Be the golden lotus that floats upon the turbulent waters.” 🙂
Anita: Thank YOU. I appreciate your kind feedback and your sharing of personal experience in this regard. Fantastic questions to ask oneself. And, an excellent practice regarding the golden lotus. Way to go!!
Thank you for sharing! Looks like i’ll have to add another great book to my reading list 🙂 Bruce also seems like a great person.
I also agree about worrying. It’s one of the best advice you can give, but when it comes to executing? Yeah, that seems to be a different story.
Mastering our internal dialogue is massively important if we want to be the captain of our own ship, instead of constantly reacting to whatever life throws at us.
– Jasper
P.S. your own books look very interesting as well! Thanks for connecting on Twitter.
Jasper: Thank you for joining the conversation. Welcome. Yes, I agree with you about executing. Always a work in process. At least I know it is for me! 🙂 Thank you for your kind words and, indeed, for connecting with me on Twitter!
Hi Bob, just wanted to say thanks a lot for your warm welcome! Also, i think you’re spot on. Like Einstein said, it’s like riding a bicycle. You need to keep moving to keep the balance. For me it certainly helps to learn from books like these, as well as other books that help me improve. Stay feeling empowered! 🙂
So interesting that much innovation and creation comes of the tension between what we have and what we would like to have (have in the broad sense). Worry comes from that same tension but driven by the fear of what might be rather than a desire. And yet desire and fear of that desire can coexist.
Thanks for another great post and book recommendation Bob.
Doug: Thank you for your comment…and thank you for your teaching within your comment. Very profound!