In my book, Adversaries into Allies, the fourth principle of Ultimate Influence™ is “Set the Proper Frame.”
A frame is the foundation from which everything evolves. Set a frame of kindness, cooperation, win/win and benevolence and a very mutually beneficial result will most likely occur.
It’s powerful. Set the proper frame and you are 80 percent of the way to a successful outcome for everyone involved.
On the other hand, be wary of those who use this concept in order to manipulate you.
I was recently watching an advertisement. After a clever opening, the presenter made a statement that was a bit surprising. In a rather offhand, very informal way, he said (slightly paraphrased to disguise the actual company)…
“Of course, everyone knows that every six months you should
recheck your Widget.”
Immediately, I thought, “Hmm, I didn’t know that. Good to know.”
Then, returning to “consciousness mode” (i.e., “thinking”) I wondered, “Did he just set a frame intending to manipulate me into believing something he wants me to believe?”
It was now time to check premises. This begins by asking ourselves questions. In this case, they included, “Why is that statement true?” “Does everyone really know that?” “Does everyone agree with that statement?” “Is this a proven fact?” “Why does he want me to think it’s obvious” (he said, “of course”)? “What would happen if I didn’t recheck it?” “Why six months and not three months or nine months or a year?”
And, one more question I asked myself. This is key and something to always keep in mind whenever you feel manipulation might be at play:
“Is this a frame that — later on — is somehow going to show up as an important reason for taking the suggested action?”
And, indeed, it absolutely did.
Several times he referred to how his product will specifically allow you to check every six months in order to…
Now, the point of this isn’t whether or not his product was good, worthwhile, or even necessary every six months.
It’s simply to be aware that when someone states something as fact, and in such a way that you suddenly feel compelled to believe it, consider whether or not they might have an agenda. And, how this new “fact” might actually be a frame; a frame intended to move you to an action that benefits them and not you. What they say might be true. Just be sure that you are consciously making that decision.
Yes, as an Ultimate Influencer you will always set a frame for mutual benefit. However, not everyone will.
But, you already know that. Now you know one way to spot it.
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Wow. What a powerful lesson in influence Bob. How often do things get off track, confused or confrontational due to a simple error in framing?
Proper framing is not manipulative – it is essential to present the true ‘picture’. Effective communication – either delivering or receiving – requires clarity – proper framing does just that.
Sadly, there are too many instances of people/companies presenting an incorrect ‘frame’ either in error or by design. Your example of taking the time to ask “What is the frame here?” eliminates a great deal of potential confusion.
Thanks for another ‘influential’ post.
Bill: Thank you! I appreciate your always well-thought out and insightful comments. And, of course, as the Branding Authority you are, you see it from even a deeper perspective than most of us. Thank you for sharing with us!
What a great post, my friend! I know you to be the nicest, most positive and powerful person, and have wondered how you stayed safe, always. This article, and your new book, opens to me and others the insights you have into people. Really great, and I’m sharing with my students. We’ve just learned about transformational change at work through opening our minds, hearts and wills. Now we’re turning to how to set healthy boundaries. Your post is perfect! Thanks.
Trina: WOW – I appreciate both your very kind words 🙂 and your conclusion regarding why “being nice…and positive” doesn’t have to translate into being taken advantage of. LOL. Very complimented to know that you are sharing the post with your students. Again, huge thanks!
Very interesting Bob!
So the frame consists of mainly the intention of the framer? Is that what you’re saying?
I was wondering, doesn’t most companies with products/services have a natural bit of manipulation as part of the ‘selling’ process because from the outset, selling is designed to trigger people to buy? Which is the ultimate goal for advertising…or that is the way it seems.
Apparently, I’m going to have to read the book to learn more about this frame! haha It IS on my list of things to read. Long list however, I may need to bump this one closer to the top from the sounds of it! : )
Samantha: Thank you for your questions. First, the frame does consist of the intention of the framer…if they set the frame correctly. If they set it incorrectly, then it does not. And, indeed, since “Framing” is merely a principle, it can be used for good or evil. And, as far as most companies using manipulation; well, hopefully not, though of course, many do. The people and companies I respect don’t frame in order to manipulate but it order to present the benefits in an authentic way that ties into the wants, needs and desires of the potential consumer. But, it’s up to us as consumers to utilize the thoughts in today’s post to make sure we don’t fall victim to manipulation if that’s what a company or person is doing.
Great post, Bob.
Last year, I was listening to an interview (that turned out to be a sales pitch) in which the interviewee set a frame very early on. He said, “If you’re not having the success in sales or in your business that you should, ask yourself: Am I afraid to buy? If you’re afraid to buy, you’re probably afraid to sell.”
He then went on to try to sell every listener on a multi-thousand dollar program that claims to make them better at sales.
Of course, having made that suggestion, set that frame–for which he offers zero proof–he’s made the listener think, “I have to be willing to buy if I ever want to succeed.” And then what’s the next thing the listener is offered to purchase? The speaker’s exorbitantly over-priced product.
Clever, yes, but evil.
James: Thank you for your kind words about the post. And, thank you for your example. As an authority in Hypnosis, do you see there being a relationship between hypnosis and how he set that frame?
Makes sense Bob. I’m sure the framing part will make more sense once I read your book. : )
Bob: Absolutely! The speaker in question is a professional hypnotist, and he definitely knew he was making a suggestion, and a manipulative one at that.
We hypnotists talk a lot about the importance of establishing frames, reframing problems, and so on. Mostly we do it for the benefit of our clients, but as you mentioned above, setting the frame is a neutral tool that can be used ethically or unethically. I admire the way that you explain ethical influence.
James: Thank you, all around – both for your excellent explanation and for your very kind compliment!
Bob,
This is a great explanation & makes things even more evident in manipulative based presentations or advertising. It’s a derivative of “guilting” someone by the power of suggestion into believing if they’re not partaking in the said product or belief, shame on them! I like the terms used in comments regarding hypnosis.
I recently read an article by my Texas author friend, Daniel Castro (Critical Choices) where he explained a tactic that law students are taught in the art of oral advocacy. When you don’t like the question you’re being asked, answer the question you wish had been asked. This now frames the conversation toward your argument. Either way….it’s manipulation!
BTW….I’ve never heard of this widget practice either! If mine doesn’t automatically update themselves……it won’t get done!
g
Geneva: Thank you for your feedback. So glad you enjoyed the post. Regarding your thought about the tactic shared by Mr. Castro – remember, most things are not “in a vacuum.” I’ve often – when being interviewed – been asked a question purposely reframed (in a negative way) by the interviewer in order to get me to “answer the wrong question.” So, what I did was begin to respond to that question but then “pivot” and reframe it to the question that was actually more appropriate. So, in this case I wouldn’t define it as manipulation but doing what I felt needed to be done in order to get it back to “ground zero”, if you will. This is something I learned many years ago from Harry Browne. Again, I mention that only so that when we look at something as being benevolent or malevolent, or persuasion or manipulation, we also make sure and put the entire situation in context. Thank you again, my great friend!