In a recent issue of Dixie “Dynamite” Gillaspie’s terrific Daily Dose of Dynamite she brilliantly wrote:
fully yourself is not sustainable.”
In my interpretation of this statement, there are three important concepts: “success”, “authenticity” (fully yourself) and “sustainable.”
While success can be defined in a number of ways, the modifier, “any” would indicate a specific victory or accomplishment.
If you had to somehow veer from your authentic nature in order to achieve this victory then two questions should be asked:
- Will you feel good about it or get that kind of … yucky feeling that often comes with a lack of congruency?
- Can that success last or sustain itself? Or, like the person who’d like to believe they are kind and loving at home while ruthless and dishonest at work, will that incongruity soon give way to the proverbial house of cards tumbling down?
While a specific success or victory can indeed be accomplished inauthentically, it probably won’t last. And, of course, in an overall context, could anything that is not authentic really be considered “success”?
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When I read that Daily Dose when I received it I was trying to think back about a time when I was inauthentic and how well that went. And I wasn’t trying to be inauthentic in a bad way, I just thought it was going to be a better way. For example selling real estate I thought it would be better if I was a more aggressive salesperson…that didn’t go so well. I actually was so stressed about how I was going to be more assertive I lost sleep and lost confidence. That attempt lasted about a week and then I stopped. There is always someone trying to help you be better, faster, more productive, more creative, taller, thinner, more loved, healthier, funnier, cuter, have better hair, etc. What I have learned is that if the way that is being proposed isn’t a part of who I truly am, I don’t stay with it, which made me feel like a quitter. So my lesson from Dixie was don’t feel pressured to be something I am not. Follow the paths and opportunities to make me a better who I am.
Sustainability is so critical to building a business. During startup business owners and the team often have to put in Herculean effort. The same also happens during a crisis.
If you are expending extra effort and living with the stress of being inauthentic you are much more likely to burn out or not have the staying power to get through the tough times.
Great post.
Christie: WOW – thank you for sharing that awesome (and very authentic!) 🙂 wisdom with us!
Doug: What a great point. Authenticity will allow for that additional and needed effort. Doing it inauthentically though will have just the opposite effect. Terrific point. Thank you!
Bob, it’s always a joy and an honor to have your thoughts on my words. Your “three words” approach to breaking this down is so dead on. I do question whether anyone can ever have true success if it requires being something other than their true and whole (authentic) self.
As Christie shared so clearly – there are a lot of people who want to help us be ‘better’ but they have their own vision of what ‘better’ really is and that may not be who we are or who we want to be. So being better is also being miserable. UGH!
And, as Doug points out, it’s just too darned much work and effort to be something other than our authentic self! Talk about creating misery!
And I also question whether anything that isn’t sustainable can be called successful unless it was intended as a bridge from one point to another. If you can’t keep it up you’d better be able to parlay it into something better, right?
Theater is the best example of this I know – the best actors tell us that to be something they aren’t (the character) they have to find something in themselves that IS that person and build on that. Even when “faking it” they have to build on something real.
Thanks for pointing out the three essential elements in that little dose!
Dixie and Bob, I have recently found while I am coaching others its very difficult for them to find their authentic self. Life, tv, and their jobs have them so confused that their authentic self is a stranger. I have found once they see this authentic person its “love at first sight.” They want to see more and more. And when I can show them that their happiest and most productive moments are when they are being true to themselves you can see them grow right before your eyes. Its an amazing gift to help someone find. There is no better job. Thanks for your article.
Dixie: Thank YOU. You continue to inspire! And, like Christy and Doug, you’ve somehow added still another terrific layer to the post! Then again…that’s what you do! 🙂
Mike: That’s great. You’re providing a terrific and very valuable service by helping them to recognize their true, authenticity and – as a result – the value they bring to others. Thank you!