Tact and respect should not be confused with compromise. They are not necessarily one and the same.
Tact and respect are about how we speak to someone. Compromise is about making concessions, whether philosophically or in action.
Of course, there is a time and place when compromise is absolutely appropriate. Other times, it is not. As Zig Ziglar so wisely said, “Be firm on principle but flexible in method.”
However — other than in extremely rare situations — tact and respect should always be part of the process. Not only is it the right way to be; it is likely to be much more productive and persuasive, and bring with it a much higher degree of influence on your behalf.
Do you experience people confusing the two terms? And, if so, why do you think that is? Is it a sign of the times or do you suspect it’s always been this way and there are just additional forms of media in which people can more freely express their thoughts and feelings?
Do you find yourself able to remain polite, respectful and tactful even when you disagree? In other words, can you disagree without being disagreeable; even when your argument is principle-based and not something you are willing to compromise on?
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Bob,
That has been a very hard battle for me since I can recall, but thank God, I have been improving on that consistently and though I have not arrived, I am better able to be respectful and still disagree so I am not being disagreeable 🙂
Your books helped me tremendously and especially “Winning without intimidation” was an incredible help. Thank you for being AWESOME!
Regards,
Kumar
Kumar: Thank you for your thoughtful words and kind feedback. I think it’s an ongoing process for most of us; certain for me, as I tend to be very passionate about the topics I’m discussing and need to always keep the information in this post at a conscious level. I usually do but I certainly slip up from time-to-time. 🙂
Challenging the issue, but never the person, seems to be right in-line with your thoughts on tact and respect.
Gentleness is a wonderful ointment.
Joel: Very well-said, my friend!
This is quite alike my approach when I recently mentioned you about weakness and strength, Bob. People think acting aggressively means strength, which is absolutely SOOO wrong. Strength goes along with confidence, and confidence enables you get rid of unnecessary aggressiveness. When you are far from being aggressive, you become assertive through kindness, gentleness, and respectfulness. I congratulate you with this article, thumbs up, my friend.
So true… We need to learn the Art of Communication, Authenticity and how to effectively communicate, it is vital to all relationships. Is it Criticism or Feedback ? All depends on How we are communicating and within that if You had honored Your Values and or Beliefs is going to determine whether You feel like You are compromising or not. No Different than authentically giving or being the doormat.
Selim: Thank you. I very much enjoy your thoughts on this subject, and I also appreciate your very kind words. Thank you for sharing with us!
Carly: Thank you for sharing with us. Always appreciate you being part of the conversation!
Refreshing! Thank you for this Bob. It isn’t the disagreement that is so disagreeable – it’s how we disagree that makes it so. GREAT POST!
Dondi: Thank you for your kind feedback. And, thank you for the Dondi-ism: “It isn’t the disagreement that is so disagreeable – it’s how we disagree that makes it so.”
You did it again!! 🙂
Many business professional have a hard time discerning between the two. Being an former military man (and now business owner), tact is something that seems to be a very important and integral part of any success story. Most “bosses” or those put in authoritarian positions forget that in order to get respect, some has to be given. When I discipline my employees or when I consult others on ways to do this, I often tell them to use Tact! It would seem much easier to want to compromise and it often is, but compromise is only a temporary solution that often leads to bigger issues.
Robert: Great advice. Agree with you totally. Lots of wisdom in that paragraph. Thank you for sharing!