In a recent post it was suggested that before we could influence others regarding the value we provide them, we must first influence ourselves. In other words, we must understand (and really embrace) the great value we provide if we are going to be able to successfully communicate it to our prospective customers and clients.
In the comments section we received a ton of wisdom-filled responses.
One of them, by Fresno, California-based Networking Authority, Beth Bridges brought up a point I totally missed. She suggested that, basically, what is now natural for us is of much greater value to others than what we consciously realize. Actually, here are her exact words:
“It took a lot of experience to learn and get good at what I do. Funny thing is that after a while, we forget how hard it was to get to that point. It seems ‘easy’ to us and looks easy to people who see us do it. But they still value the particular thing that we do — especially if it’s hard for them — while we might think of it the same way we do our other habits. Just something we ‘do.’
“For me, then, it becomes an issue of SEEING. I see things that other people do that is easy for *them* which I value greatly which they probably think is ‘no big deal.’ Then I switch roles and see what *I* do from their perspective.
“It helps me understand how I create great value by doing something that looks ‘easy’ and also makes it easier for other people to do.”
Thank you, Beth. Absolutely right. I can’t tell you how often I work with someone and point out the brilliance of something they have said or done. Typically their response is, “Oh, that’s nothing. Everyone knows/does that.”
Actually, no, they don’t. You know it and you do it because you have faithfully practiced your craft and honed it over many years. It’s of great value…it’s of enormous value to others. But, you must acknowledge that and realize it.
So, let’s all take Beth’s superb and wisdom-filled advice. As part of influencing ourselves on the exceptional value we have to offer others…let’s first make sure and “see” it.
Important question: With this in mind, what exceptional value do you bring to the table that you haven’t taken the time to really “see?”
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DITTO to Beth. Sometimes the obvious escapes us. Thank you for the reminder, Beth, and thank you Bob for re-posting what you missed, because actually, we all did!!!
This post has tremendous value, Bob. The mark of a true teacher is to be able to speak to the listening of others. That has been one of my greatest lessons.
With love and appreciation for who you are in my life and the lives of so many,
susan
Bob,
Thank you so much for your kind words. It is one of *your* skills to be so gracious and always looking for ways to encourage and recognize others. I suspect that the graciousness is inborn … but the habit of finding ideas and sharing them is something you make look easy, but I’m sure you worked at ;-).
I think that social media is a great source of finding people who “make it look easy” but if you asked, they have spend hours and hours reading, learning and trying things that failed. The learning process is mostly unseen, while the results are almost always on stage.
And thank you, Ali, too.
Beth
This is a great post Bob and Beth! It’s funny when someone points out value in what I am doing I always answer “I guess it’s just who I am”. I have forgotten that sometime in the past I did work hard to make that a habit but forgot what it was like to not be that way because it is so ingrained in me now. Thank you both for sharing…that is a great value you both possess 🙂
As always, I’m loving all your great and insightful comments! You all are ROCKIN’ it!
This s a great post, and I remember being impacted the first time around by both the original post as well as the comments, especially Beth’s!
It really, really is easy to forget the hundreds, possibly thousands (or more!) of hours we spend honing our craft/skills to become valuable (either to ourselves or others) at whatever our particular endeavor may be. As both a professional drummer and dog trainer (btw, a song I played on just won two Grammy’s the other night!! Yay!), i cannot even imagine how many hours/years it’s taken to become highly skilled and valuable at both of these gigs….but amazingly, even with all those years invested in cultivating/pursuing excellence, I still forget that the information and abilities I’ve achieved aren’t easy for others to do.
And actually, after reading the original blog post, I raised my dog training rates significantly simply due to the realization/awareness of the immense value I was providing. And what’s possibly even more significant, with this new awareness/understanding of my value, i feel totally comfortable, confident and at ease when discussing with prospective clients my new rates…when i used to always get anxious/insecure when the money part would come up. But now, i relax in the knowing that my clients are getting amazing value and the best deal in town…even with the higher prices. So thanks Beth and Bob!
Bottom line, if you’re not truly aware of the value you have/are capable of sharing or creating, and what it’s worth to the marketpace, no one will be able to appreciate and compensate you appropriately.
As always, thanks so much for this blog and the great community it nurtures.
-Sean
Hey Bob,
Clearly one of your great skills is finding something inspiring to blog about everday!
I think that before I do anything I must sit down and brainstorm some ideas of what to write about.. rather than spend so many hours reading great stuff by other people! This post will help me to look for some insight into what my own skills might be, so that I might offer up some value to others.
Regards,
Michelle
I would be willing to bet anyone with humility has under-rated themselves at times.
In the software development side of our business we were always painfully aware of every flaw and mistake we made in the trade-off between how much a client is willing to pay and how much value we can deliver. We always thought we could do things better so under-rated ourselves.
Then we realized that in fact, we were not in the middle or bottom for delivering value, but somewhere in the top. It took a while to really understand that because the people we were using as “heros” in the industry were in the top 5-10%, maybe even the top 1%. Funny thing was it was an ex-employee and a few of our customers who corrected our thinking the most.
All of this thinking about real value and correspondingly, about fair compensation for that value, is in fact the most useful things you can solve. It is not about charging lots so you can make lots, but ensuring that customers perceive the value of what they are getting as being much greater than what they are paying. Right value to right customers and you’ve got a business.
Working on it.
I recently became aware of a listening skill I have. I can “easily” tell which gown a bride loves, before she is consciously aware of it. Because of my many years of experience, I thought this skill was just in bridal, but I am watching me now, and seeing that it is a level of listening that I do in all areas of my life.
I use to just think I was blessed with “good at timing skills,” but now I see that I am good at listening from where a person speaks. So far I am aware when their voice comes from their head, their heart and their gut. I am guessing that the gut sound is a Spirit thing, because I remember a “gut wrenching” thing that was done to me, that I was later able to identifying as a crushing of my spirit.
I know there is more that I am not aware of, so I am watching my listening every moment of every day now.
I recently heard a lady speak contempt from her heart, so I reflected on this for a while and came up with the thought that her heart just might be wounded, and she may need to deal with that by reflecting back, to see if there is some area she may need to deal with on a heart level. Contempt is yucky and very visible to people around her!
And as Beth suggested, our gifts, don’t always come easy, but it is easy for me now.
Although what people do may seem “easy” some of us have worked long and hard on perfecting a certain skill and I agree with you – it takes patience, practice and persistence to make it look second nature. For me, as a social media coach, it is honing in on the comfort level of my client on social media and knowing just how quickly I can or can’t push them to overcome their limiting beliefs. Some people are putty in my hands and others are very willing but shy and embarrassed to be seen and heard in public. Being perceptive of that fine line is a gift I have acquired over the many years I worked with special needs children. Being insightful with them and reacting accordingly transfers well to my clients now. An intuitive feeling really, that is right on most of the time.
Love this post and love your books – I have all of them gift them regularly to my clients.
Thank you everyone for these amazing teachings. You all add more to my life and learning than you can imagine. Thank you so much!
I just read what Sean wrote! Way to go Sean!
You are welcome my Bob. Thank you for lighting a path to growth for me. I know It’s All About Me… Oh wait, Your newest most excellent book is IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU. #INAY Oh okay…LOL Love ya to the moon and back.
How true. How very true! Thank you Beth and Bob.
Having come from a family of “engineers, accountants, and home builders” — all problem solving professions — when I described my business to my family, the general conscious was — why would anyone pay you for that? We all do that all the time, that’s what family is for. (and they do… a lot of opinions and expertise run in my family). Of course this same situation has played itself out throughout my life.
Yet… throughout my life I was the person people came to or they sent strangers to talk to me to listen and find solutions. Friends, colleagues, people changing careers or starting nonprofits or business owners would contact me when they had a situation that they just couldn’t figure out and wanted a “few” solutions to a situation that boggled them.
It took me nearly 40 something years to realize what my gifts were! On a whim, I attended a class on “Creativity in Life”. I told the teacher that I wasn’t creative — I’m not an artist. Boy did he set me straight about creativity!
Hopefully because of Beth’s honesty and Bob’s posting his article here, others will learn about their creativity — innate or learned, and consciously use it sooner.
Because sometimes the gifts we have are “inbreed” — in your family of origin. Other times they’re the things you got in trouble for as a child (talked to much? you’ll be a wonderful speaker!) They’re the things I took for granted, yet use, and now give back to the world, each and every day.
Maria! My Mom used to tell me “Zip it…..Your mouth will get you into trouble” ….and….I’m so glad it did. I’m grateful my Mama made me aware of my gift to speak…..in two languages, nonetheless.!
There’s no stopping me now! And yes, you are right, it may take us a long time before we realize that before the “zip it”…there’s a whole wide world of GIFTS within ourselves.