One could quite correctly say that whenever we discuss the topic of persuasion (a/k/a “Winning Without Intimidation) we are within the context of negotiation. Really, any time we want something from someone, whether it’s money, an act of kindness, respect, or anything else, we are negotiating. More and more books these days are being written on win/win negotiation skills. I like that, and I’ve learned a great deal from many of them.
Suggestion: While these posts will help equip you in terms of negotiation skills, I encourage you to pick up some negotiation-specific books and audios and perhaps even attend a class on this topic. You’ll learn some very simple strategies you can use to help you further your persuasion abilities.
Important: You’ll also be introduced to some of the negotiation tactics that skilled negotiators might one day (or already do) use against you. Why is that important to know? Because ignorance, at least in this context, is anything but bliss. What you don’t know absolutely can harm you, financially and in other ways. I remember, many years ago, while beginning to study this topic, how amazed — how astounded! — I was by the very elementary tactics I’d succumbed to. And, I mean elementary stuff!
Of course, you’ll never use manipulative or harmful tricks against others. However, you will benefit greatly by others not being able to use them against you!
Have you found this to be true? And, what excellent resources have you come across that teach win/win negotiation?
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Quid-Pro-Quo or “this for that” is something that should be in any sales persons mind. Developing get-give lists with value added gives for your future customers is helpful.
Some of the things I’ve learned are:
Some things are not negotiable!
Always get something equal in return for what you give up!
Don’t negotiate with my wife, you’ll lose!!
SW
I think I have learned my best negotiating techniques from watching how others use their influence and persuasion to encourage others’ behavior. This helps me identify both what I do AND do not want to do. ie. I don’t like when people use the “we’ve had such a great response, the deadline has been extended” approach. I’m pretty certain that the only reason anyone would extend a deadline, is because they have NOT achieved a great response. I find it a bit insulting when I receive emails like that, so I make sure to never use it. Thanks Bob. Love how you get me THINKING, especially on a Monday
I believe that the goal in any negotiation should be an I win, you win. Then everyone is happy and may want to deal with you again. Better yet, I win, you win, they win. That’s where what you and I agree on will benefit others.
Keep it simple and use the Go Giver plan of by giving more, we get more. It works everything when we negotiate this way.
Thanks Bob!
John, Steve, Linda and James, thank you so much for your feedback, comments and wisdom!