Years ago, while reading a very good book by Milo O. Frank entitled, How To Get Your Point Across In 30 Seconds or Less, I was reminded that – in the context of persuasion – there are three essentials for every form of spoken or written communication:
“Know what you want, know who can give it to you, and know how to get it.”
In other words, know exactly what it is you want from the transaction. Focus your efforts on an outcome you’ll be happy with.
Know who can give it to you. Do you need to find a tactful way of moving from the person you’re now transacting with to the person who really has the power to say “Yes?” Nearly anyone on any level can say “No.” You need to know who it is who can help you obtain what you want.
You accomplish the how part by using the skills and methods we often discuss in this blog, and those you learn from other sources as well.
Keeping focused on the above three provides you with a definite edge. You might even want to write those three down and post them somewhere that will help you internalize them.
What do you think? Do you agree? Anything I might have missed?
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Bob,
It also helps the persuasion process to know they “why” .
Often times people stray from the timely and focused completion of their own goals and having your ” why” forefront in your mind helps keep the path direct.
The Value of “WHY” may be even More important in the persuasion process for the person you are acting to persuade. Robert Cialdini has some very empowering examples in his Book “Influence” where his experiment measured that the likelihood of getting what you ask for is many times higher simply because a person included the word “because” . Even an obvious and lame reason is better than no reason at all.
His example was to measure how many times people would allow a stranger to cut in line at the copy machine and sure most people would let you cut if you had a “good reason” like “because I need to catch a flight” but even a lame non reason ” because I need to make some copies” improved their chances of getting compliance and positive persuasion.
Thank you, Bryan. Yes, I’m a huge fan of all of Dr. Cialdini’s books and refer “Influence: Science and Practice” at practically every live seminar. And, yes, the “why” is important, and I’ve previously posted on that (in the context of “their why”). This article was simply about another aspect, as quoted from another book. Thank you for sharing with us. Much appreciated!
Bob!
Nothing could be more PERTINENT to me at this moment than what you have to say in this totally admirably brief blogpost!
I recently made a guest appearance on a TV show ‘Oklahoma Live’ and apparently deeply impressed the C.E.O. of the station who invited me in to his office after the show to discuss ideas about more appearances, and perhaps a show of my own. Now, as I type the word ‘perhaps’ I have some pretty big inner ‘revelations’ concerning my own processes, perhaps ways I put up my own roadblocks, etc. and it can get complex. But it need not. This post will serve me well during the course of this and following days, as I understand and act on the simple fact that ‘NOW IS THE TIME TO STEP UP TO THE PLATE AND HIT A HOME RUN!’
We are complex creatures (we being all of us, ‘humans’, and sometimes realizing and following through on what is simple and what is necessary and what will ‘get us where we are best destined to go’ might not be as complex as we are prone to make it.
Yes.
Definitely.
I am writing them down and posting them and reading them –
Cannot thank you enough.
I think my comment is longer than your post!
Wayne
p.s.
What you call ‘internalize’ I call ‘vesting’ –
An idea is fine, but you must ‘vest the idea very deeply’ for it to pay dividends.
Super post.
Thank you, Wayne. And, your comments can be as long as you’d like. We always LOVE hearing from you, my friend. Best of success with your future appearances on “Oklahoma Live.” I lived in Both Ada and Norman (no, I didn’t attend O.U.; worked in Oklahoma City) so anytime I read about something in Oklahoma it brings back great memories of the terrific people I met there. And, yes, “vesting” is key, isn’t it? Thanks again, Wayne!
Some more great advice Bob. I really love the fact that you can put so much info and guidance, in so few words. You really grasp the attention span thing ( Ha ) especially on Monday morning !
Great stuff to get inspired for a wonderful week to come.
Motivate and Inspire with Enthusiasm ! Its my goal and you do it all the time, Bob. Thanks again.
Al
Al, thank you, my friend. And, I know you are inspiring many with your message!
Thanks for saying that. I sure am trying to. The message of CARE needs to be spread far and wide. Like the title of the article says: “Now, more than ever, WE Need to C.A.R.E.”
Communicate and Connect, Appreciate, Respect, Encourage.
Bob, thanks again for your continued support and Go-Giver mentality. U Rock, brother !
Headin to South Florida Wednesday. Any events happening down there May 12 -18 ?
Al
Great post, Bob! I like the idea of focusing an outcome which I can be happy with. Sooooo many times I am focused on being rejected/turned away. It is also important to speak with the person who has the power to say “Yes”. Looks superb…keep up the terrific work!
Thank you, Chi Chi. Great points, my friend. Stay conscious of it and you’re halfway home!
Thanks Bob – as always, great advice. I’m writing these three things down PRONTO, and will apply them – needed this!
Barbara, thank you for your very nice compliment. I’m so glad you found the article to be of value!
Great stuff. It seems that these graduate in difficulty as well. Knowing what you want is not so difficult, but knowing who can give it to you gets a bit more complicated at times. And how to get it, well there are volumes written about this.
Thanks for writing this Bob!
Hi Russ, what a great point. I hadn’t thought of that! 🙂