There is perhaps nothing more powerful in beginning a conversation, or in overcoming an interpersonal challenge, than a smile. A warm, genuine, sincere smile that emanates from your heart (from the inside out).
The vast majority of these challenges in both personal and in business relationships could most likely be resolved peacefully with a smile, followed by genuine concern for the other’s needs. The fact that most people don’t do this will only make it easier for you to find yourself ahead in the game.
When you must speak with someone’s supervisor about a particular challenge, your smile will bring down his or her walls of resistance, and set the tone for a pleasant, win/win discussion and positive result. One main reason is that you’ve just separated yourself from practically everyone else whose greeting is a defensive, angry, or intimidating look.
In his book, Working With Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman writes, “It happens that smiles are the most contagious emotional signal of all, having an almost irresistible power to make other people smile in return.”
Very true! Read any good book on people skills and there will be at least a mention of the power of a smile.
John Mason, author of Let Go of Whatever Makes You Stop writes, “One of the single most powerful things you can do to influence others is to smile at them.” Dale Carnegie devoted an entire segment of his classic, How To Win Friends & Influence People to this single fact.
Don’t feel badly if this does not come naturally for you. For some, it takes practice. Fortunately, it’s very easy to learn how to smile effectively. If necessary, simply imagine something that truly brings you joy and think of that before you need to smile. After a few practice sessions, you’ll be able to bring forth that smile naturally, “from the inside out.”
It seems very few people smile without a particular reason. But that doesn’t have to include you. Get that smile on your face before you deal with anyone; the service person, government bureaucrat, your boss, the waitperson, your spouse and children; everyone. Get yourself ready for that person to like you and smile back at you!
You can employ this simple action everyday with incredible results. You’ll be delighted (sometimes, astounded!) by the special, over-the-top assistance you’ll so often receive… just because the person is so positively affected by your smile.
Today, while feeling grateful for all your blessings, let them bring a smile to your face.
A smile “from the inside out.” 🙂
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The best of all it won’t cost anything and can make a huge difference. Just smile :o)
Very true, Lukasz! 🙂
I so love heart smiles. That’s what I have always referred to those as…the ones that you feel from the inside out and those you receive back. I had numerous opportunities for heart smiles yesterday that led to impromptu happy conversations with everyone from the bank teller to the Home Depot employees and the grocery store clerk. The thing about them is they are most definitely contagious and can change your entire day! Sending a HUGE heart smile to you my dear friend Bob. You know how I feel about your smiles. xo
Best of all, a smile is a renewable resource for which we ALL have a supply greater than we could ever use in our lifetime.
Bob, thanks for the reminder to get on with using one of our greatest personal assets.
Dave, thank you, that’s a great point. Totally renewable resource and we have an unlimited supply of them to voluntarily share with others; making both their day and our day a little better. Very cool!
I totally agree with you Bob. I am personally working on smiling more. I was told recently at a media boot camp with Shawne Duperon that my face often conveys a “mean Mom look.” Actually, inside I am in deep thought and was not aware of how it looked on the outside.
A tip I can share with your reader is a genuine smile is also visible in the eye area. People who put on happy face or smile for the world to see, even if they don’t feel that way inside will have a grove under their nose, just above the lip. In Face Reading we call this forced smile, because it is caused by repeatedly faking the smile.
Hi Lin, awesome that you were able to get that kind of helpful feedback, and it says a lot about you that you were open to it. Cool that you saw Shawne; she’s awesome. And, yep, love what you said about the eyes. The eyes do indeed reflect the sincerity of the smile.
Thanks Bob. A Smile is So important. What a great reminder. Love what you said about “bringing down his or her walls of resistance, and set the tone for a pleasant, win/win discussion and positive result”
Wow ! That is so true.
I use this in my talks: “Be Happy and SMILE ! You will be amazed at what a difference it will make with you and the people you work (and live) with. It is contagious !
“It cost nothing, but creates much” (Carnegie). Also, thanks for mentioning “How to Win Friends & Influence People”. In my humble opinion, it is one of the best books ever written and should be mandatory reading for all people.
Thanks again for all you do.
Al
C A R E : Communicate, Appreciate, Respect, Encourage !
Al, great points, my friend. And, agreed that Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends” is one of the best books of all time. I know I’ve certainly benefited from it greatly!
Great post, Bob! I am a firm believer that smiles are essential connectors and sometimes the best form of communication! It is true, smiling takes practice. I try to smile when I am doing my work, presenting a seminar and event talking on the phone with clients. It totally reduces stress and makes me a whole lot friendlier. Excellent book recommendations. Keep up the remarkable work : )
Thank you, Chi Chi…great points all!
Love it! Thank you, Gina! And I know you have an awesome smile so it definitely figures that you would relate to today’s post. Thank you, my friend!
AWWW….just had another one of those ‘heart smile’ moments. Thank you Bob! xo
Genuine smile are infectious, disarming, and a wonderful gift to all to receive them. You never know who you might meet in any given day that is desperately in need of the warmth of a smile. Thanks, Bob for sharing this today.
LOL Thank you, Ms. Gina. 🙂
Beverly, so very true; everything you wrote!