When in a discussion that turns less than cordial, and voices are getting louder with each exchange, it’s tempting and natural to think that “If I can just yell a little louder than he or she yells, I’ll be heard and my point will be made (and accepted”).
First, the other person probably won’t hear you any clearer than you are hearing them. And, even if they do, they’re not listening.
Terri Levine, author of Work Yourself Happy says, “Speak softly. If you really want to be heard, lower your voice.”
Very true. When the shouting is escalating, step back. Calm yourself. Speak softly. This works. When doing this you’ve changed the Matrix, so to speak. The other person will pause to hear what you have to say. The attitudes of both of you will become more relaxed.
Now you can make your point and be heard. And, the other person will, most likely, then lower their voice, and you can hear them. An instant win…for both of you.
One key is first becoming conscious of the fact that emotion and shouting has taken over.
How do you do when it comes to recognizing this? Any thoughts?