What does the term, “Yes-Man” (or, “Yes-Woman”) mean to you? Possibly, the person who is so insecure that he says “yes” to any person, thing or idea in order to be liked and accepted?
Well, when it comes to Positive Persuasion, that kind of Yes-Person is not the kind we mean. Instead, we are talking about the man or woman who can and will step up, work with you and solve the problem or challenge you are having.
For example, you are having difficulty getting the person at the service desk (of course, you could substitute practically anything here, whether in person or on the telephone) to change a “really bad” policy. “Really bad” meaning something that doesn’t give you what you want or need. 🙂
Despite utilizing your very best Winning Without Intimidation methods, you find you’re just not getting anywhere. That’s okay; it happens sometimes. It’s not necessarily that you are doing anything wrong; it may just be that you are dealing with a “problem person” instead of a “solution person.” A “no-person” instead of a “yes-person.” (This, by the way, does not necessarily mean they are ill-intentioned. They may simply not have the authority to help or the tendency to problem-solve.)
The next step is to speak with their supervisor. If you have to go through this person, simply ask with the utmost courtesy, kindness and respect. “I apologize for putting you through all this hassle” (I know, you have nothing to apologize for. That’s okay; go with it). “There are rules I know you need to follow. It might be better if I spoke directly with your supervisor. What is his or her name? Excellent, thank you, may I speak with Ms. Johnson please?”
Or, perhaps you found  Ms. Johnson’s name on your own. Regardless, now it’s time to find out if she is the “Yes-Person.”
“Hi Ms. Johnson, I’m Pat Davis. Thank you so much for taking time to speak with me. I know you’re very busy.” These words will, nine times out of ten, elicit this supervisor to go to whatever ends necessary in order to see that you are satisfied. Mainly because you presented yourself as being different from most others, who only ask (or demand!) to speak with them in order to complain.
Now, if Ms. Johnson can find a solution and say yes, great! If not, continue up the ladder. Along the way, continue to be polite, patient and persistent. Naturally, you need to decide just how important it is to get this particular “thing” that you want. It may not be worth your effort. If it is important, though, by all means continue. Eventually, you will more than likely (in fact, let me say, practically always!) find the person who not only wants to see you satisfied, but has a natural tendency to be a problem-solver.
That is the solution person; the “Yes-Man” or “Yes-Woman.”
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Bob – I have been a fan of yours for some time. What I really hate when dealing with a problem at a local merchant is when the person quotes company policy as a reason for not wanting to try and work our a solution. This happend to me recently at a bank. I finally went to the trouble to change banks. I should have looked harder for that “yes” person.
Hi Sue, first, thank you for your very kind words. Regarding the excuse of company policy, you are correct; that has got to be the worst, company-focused (as opposed to customer-focused) reason for not trying to find a mutually beneficial solution. Regarding changing banks as opposed to finding the “yes” person, you bring up a good point. Really, it’s always up to you. My feeling though is that – all things being equal – rather than taking all the time and trouble that changing a vendor often takes, I’d just as soon get it resolved. And, finding that “yes” person is often the best and most time-effective way to do it. Of course, other factors can come into play, hence my “all things being equal” disclaimer. 🙂 Thank you so much again for writing and sharing with us.
Great information, Bob. It amazing me how demanding and self-righteous some people can be and soon, a simple situation turns into an ego-based competition to win an argument. Mom always quotes, “You attract more bees with honey than vinegar.” Be polite, patient and persistent… and sweet… and everyone might win.
Exactly, my friend. You and your Mom are both very, very wise! (And sweet) 🙂