In Part One we learned from Les Giblin that people will often live up to the very traits you give them to live up to. I remember years ago – right after reading that in his book – having an opportunity to utilize this method with a person from whom I needed some specialized information. I’d used her services before and she always did a good job. Not great, but good.
This time, however, she was having some trouble locating the necessary information. As she was looking frustrated and ready to give up, I looked at the person next to me and said, “I don’t know if this information can be found or not, but I’ll tell you this – if anyone can find it, she can.” You can bet your boots she found it and continued to go out of her way for me whenever I needed her help. And, what I love most about this is the confidence it instilled in her that I believe made her a more effective human being both personally and professionally.
Gear this method to your own unique circumstances. Not to see if it works – it works! – but to practice getting really good at making it work for you, and others, in a variety of situations.
Is your significant other losing their patience quickly? Then “appreciate” (verbally) the fact that one thing about her you truly admire is her high degree of patience. Is your child feeling as though math isn’t his “thing?” Then express your delight that he has such a quick mind for numbers.
Is your boss displaying a temper that has you upset? Then, as you go into her office to ask a question about an unrelated issue, just happen to comment on the fact that you always admire how she is able to keep such a clear-thinking and level-headed demeanor.
Yes, give people something good – something great – to live up to and they will usually do so; often exceeding even the high expectations you have set for them.
Les’ Giblin’s method is not just a one-time tactic, but a way of life that raises the bar for everyone!
Care to share an example of how this has worked for you or someone you know?
Enjoy this post? Receive an update when our next post is published by entering your best email address below and clicking Get Updates.
These are two beautiful posts.
I heard this quote years ago on a CD & it totally aligns with what you are saying:
“Treat a man as he appears to be, and you make him worse. But treat a man as if he were what he potentially could be, and you make him what he should be.” Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
There was an example given concerning the type of service you receive in restaurants. Usually we tip people according to the type of service we receive. What happens if we begin to tip people for the type of service we desire to receive? The change is evident. Of course, this would be geared toward those places you frequent more than once, but consider it. What other areas can this be applied?
This morning I walked into my office building with a friend who has known my struggle over the past 2-3 years with my boss. I have literally fasted & prayed more concerning this subject than any other. I remember hearing a ka-zillion times on CD’s that you should be so good at your job because of the leadership skills you acquire, when you retire early, they will greatly miss you. My attitude was not to that level. I didn’t give a rip if I was missed or not. I am proud to say there has been a shift. It hasn’t been overnight at all. I watched my mouth, continued to develop myself as a leader, read & study those who are & things have changed. This morning I was able to share with my friend that things have changed because I have changed. She was almost shocked to hear it. Instead of being critical of everything that came out of my bosses mouth, I have learned to value & respect her wisdom. I saw her as everyone sees her & even our relationship is better. I can tell she has also made a switch toward me as well. Such change is causing me to be a valuable asset (recent pay raise) & respected by my peers. Now, when I retire….I will be missed. As John Maxwell says, “Attitude isn’t everything, it is the difference maker.” As you suggest, our attitude toward others help change their attitude toward themselves. The sad, yet great thing is…..we may be the only person that help them realize it!
You are one of those people I glean wisdom from regularly & I can honestly say it has helped me greatly.
Blessings,
g
Words are so powerful. We will step into who we are based on who we THINK we are. Those thoughts can be reinforced by the people around us. Always affirm the people you are surrounded by. It’s helping them become who they are meant to be 🙂
Geneva, thank you. While you credit others so abundantly, you share great wisdom in everything you write.
Martha, thank you so much for sharing with us.