Yep – it’s true. Give someone a positive trait or characteristic to live up to and the chances are, they will. This is not just a feel-good philosophy but one that has proven to work time and again. In a previous article we looked at one reason. Now, let’s discuss another.
In Les Giblin’s classic, How To Have Confidence And Power in Dealing With People, he shows that the best way to elicit one acting in a certain way is to let them “live up” to your expectation of them. The following story told by the author, regarding people living up to a trait they are not usually given, demonstrates a method as good as any “truth serum” on the market today.
“A police officer was consistently able to get thugs to give him information. How? By saying, ‘People tell me you have quite a reputation as a tough guy and that you’ve been in lots of trouble, but there’s one thing you won’t do – you won’t lie. They say, if you tell me anything at all, it will be the truth – and that’s the reason I’m here.'”
Wow, talk about giving one something to live up to!
Les quotes famed British statesman Sir Winston Churchill as saying, “I have found that the best way to get another to acquire a virtue, is to impute it to him.”
This works not just for finding out the truth, but for all aspects of Winning Without Intimidation.
In Part Two, we’ll look at a personal example.
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Great post. Big message. Few words. (I admire your capacity to do that on a consistent basis.) Just last night on blogchat I cited you as a perfect example of someone who makes a point about “doing business” via “telling a story” –
Today’s is a good one – short, potent – bringing in Winston was a good touch too!
It is my experience that people (and especially children) – When I have the privilege of visiting elementary school children in their environments, I sense they KNOW, without my saying a word, as soon as our eyes meet, that I hold them in the highest regard. Before I let them know that “Each and every one of you possess the inherent genius for understanding the music of Mozart. You have that genius within you-and he is going to help to bring it out. You’ll focus on your work better, you will enjoy it more, and your will achieve higher grades.” And that is not just a speech. They know it is true.
Love your work!
You are doing great things.
I know you will continue to have an ever-expanding circle of affirmative influence.
Wayne
Bob,
Much appreciated! If most of your readers are like me they experience this principle everytime we read your blog! I will look forward to the next update as well.
I’m guessing that this works the other way, too. If you impute vices or project negative qualities onto the other person, you’ll find what you’re looking for. Learning to look for the good or giving something for people to live up to is a tough road to travel for us cynical and curmudgeonly types. 🙂
It worked that way with our kids. : ) We had high expectations and held them in esteem and they exceeded our expectations.
Happy Thanksgiving, my friend.
Steve: Thank you. Much appreciated!
Wayne: Wow, thank you. That was very kind. And, it looks like you are making a terrific difference in the lives of those youngsters. Good for you!
Ken: Yes, it absolutely works the other way, as well. Unfortunately, we see that more often that this way. Regarding it being a tough road for the cynical/curmudgeonly types, while I don’t know if that is really descriptive of you or not, it is indeed true that if it isn’t one’s style to see and communicate the good, it is a trait that can absolutely be developed. Easily? No. Possible. Absolutely and without question. First, awareness of the need. Two, a desire to improve. Third, a plan to do so. Fourth, action. Fifth, persistence. 🙂
Debbi. That is so very cool!