One of the most effective methods of Winning Without Intimidation is to feel assured that when you offer an opinion, it is based on fact as opposed to conjecture. Based on proof as opposed to prejudice; knowledge as opposed to bias. And, logic as opposed to emotion.
Too often, we (at least I) offer opinions without nearly enough knowledge, but imagine it to be so. This challenge doubles when in discussion with another person who is doing the same thing.
Napoleon Hill, author of the classic, Think and Grow Rich said “most opinions are without value because they are based on bias, prejudice, intolerance, guesswork, hearsay evidence, and out and out ignorance.” He went so far as to say that those opinions represent the source of most of the tragedies in life which people meet with unnecessarily. Although I “don’t know for sure” :-), I’m inclined to agree.
In his audio program, “The Science of Personal Achievement” Dr. Hill taught that we should rid ourselves of the habit of “expressing, or even having opinions not based on something more substantial than biases, prejudices and emotional feelings, which often serve as fodder to facts.”
He opined that the more successful one is, the less inclined he or she is to offer wild, unjustified opinions about anything. On the other hand, the less successful a person was, the more they seemed to have an opinion about that which they obviously knew little about.
Based on my experiences, I find his thoughts in this regard to be entirely on the mark.
One example of an answer he received which gave him much delight was the time he stopped a Quaker on a Philadelphia street in order to ask him the time. According to Dr. Hill, the wise gentleman took out his watch, examined it carefully and, in a slow, emphatic tone of voice, replied: “Well sir, according to this ‘alleged’ time piece, it ‘appears’ to be ‘approximately’ one minute and ten seconds past 12:00.”
Dr. Hill was impressed with the way the man identified the source of his information. He often thought how beneficial it would be if all people who express opinions or give out information would take the time to identify the source from which they were able to speak.
Now, you and I might think that was a just a tad extreme. And, sure, it would seem to be. Still, the lesson is there, isn’t it? Know from where we are getting our information and, while we’re at it, don’t hesitate to gently communicate the source.
Next article, we’ll reverse this theme and look at options for when the other person opines without having the facts behind them.
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A really fun question you can ask someone who is “offering an opinion” as if it is fact:
How do you know? Ask them real sweet and watch them squirm 🙂
Great post (as usual) Bob.
I find the more I recognize that facts, opinions and ideas (even my own) all come with a history of individual perceptions, the more I learn and am open to those interesting “Ah-Ha” moments.
Good post, and I totally agree with you here Bob. Thankfully I’m much more inclined these days to withhold any comment or judgement until I’ve accumulated sufficient evidence to make it an informed one. I’m sorry to say it wasn’t always that way though, so I guess using Dr Hills criteria I’m becoming more successful! That’s always good to hear 🙂
None of us see the world as it is; we see it as we are. So for important issues it’s worth some critical thinking to determine why we believe as we do and where we got that information.
-RG
I read a great book during lunch yesterday as a bridge until I start my new one. 🙂 Chapter 24. Listen-resonated with me more this time around. Many times I attempt to offer my opinion before I even allow the person to complete the conversation. When I do so, even my well knowledgeable sources of information can be skewed when used inappropriately.
In the past 4 yrs. I have learned valuable lessons. The greatest is that my opinion is just that, mine. Learning to respect others opinions, agreeing to disagree & applying grace, is vital for me to move forward. I needed new sources of information & sought them out. I continue to grow daily as to increase my sphere of resources as to offer better information, not based on my opinion.
Thanks,
g
Here’s one of my favorite quotes:
“The person with one clock always knows what time it is. The person with two is never sure.”
I’ll have to revise it to “The person with one clock allegedly knows what time it is….”
All the best,
Tracey
Great post Bob! It’s a little thing I will remember. Todd
Than you, everyone. Great feedback and advice. Appreciate all of you.
Tracey…that’s funny. Perhaps, one alleged clock. 😉
Most opinions are without value also because – we are all at very different Levels of Awareness. And for anyone to be able to use any advice, opinion – they first must be “there” to receive it… Whenever we talk to someone, we talk to their Conditioning and it comes from our Conditioning, so until we know enough about the person – the information we give will probably be rendered useless anyways. Great reminder Bob.
I love this post as I run into it all the time and it frustrates me so much! We need to consider these principles in all of our dealings, including conversations we have with friends or colleagues on personal matters as well as business. I love Laura’s suggestion about asking “How do you know this?” I will definitely use that one. Thanks!