Here’s an absolute Gem from Jim Cathcart, CSP, CPAE as related in his weekly E-Letter:
“….a realist is simply a pessimist who doesn’t want to admit it. I’ve never heard a ‘realist’ take an optimistic posture on any topic. They always say, ‘Let’s be realistic,’ and then go on to explain why your idea can’t be done. Imagine a realist saying, ‘Realistically, we don’t yet know what the possibilities are. This could be easier than we think!’ Better, eh?”
When Jim uses the term, “realist” he’s talking about a self-proclaimed realist who is actually a pessimist. A true realist would be the person who actually does see things as Jim describes it after that. It doesn’t even mean they necessarily see the positive side of something; it does mean that they need to be “realistic” enough to know that…they really don’t know.
What about you? Do you consider yourself to be a realist or a…”realist”? 🙂
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Reality is what one makes of it. By being a pessimist you are defining your reality and it is mired in negativity. By being a hopeful realist you’re defining your reality in a positive light. I prefer hope because it offers more possibilities. Hope allows you to search for ways to maneuver in an ever more complicated world.
Love this post and agree with Jim’s “hope”. Reality is subjective and manifested through our own thoughts. The only *REAL* reality is that we have two distinct choices — we can focus on “why” an idea might not work OR (my personal choice) explore the possibilities that allow us to MAKE it work. My personal opinion is that it takes just as much energy (probably more) to look at the negative as the positive. As the saying goes, “where there is a will, there is a way”. Too many people stop just short of the goal after claiming it just doesn’t work. I say, if it didn’t work, maybe the timing was off, maybe we missed a step, maybe we needed to knock on one more door….but we just need to KEEP GOING. What can we do different? Do we need to research more, approach someone who has done it before? I’m taking the possibility train. OPTIMIST all the way!! And, I’m just being a realist. 🙂 It’s the only way.
I prefer to be the optimistic realist. If I was limited to ‘optimistic and wrong’ or ‘pessimistic and right’, I would choose to be wrong. However, as Rich explains above, reality is what one makes of it. To me that means that you get to be right either way because you’ll look for the evidence to support your point of view and the opportunities to make it real.
Great post Bob. I know I have used that phrase numerous times, but I never quite realized how pessimistic it is. Thanks!
HA!!! I love this post. I myself am the consummate optimist, which could probably drive some people as crazy as a pessimist could make people 🙂 I try and explain to the the self proclaimed-negative realist that anything is possible and if you are always focusing on the negative outcome you are a realist of sorts because you are most definitely creating a negative reality for yourself.
I am a RASCAL!
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Being “realistic” only denies that miracles are possible, that the unexpected is often a blessing and that the range of POSITIVE probabilities makes anything worth pursing if you truly desire it.
Obviously the realist (or pessimist) from Jim’s post is the naysayer of the group always finding a reason not to do something. I like many others here, prefer to see the options available, seeking a positive solution but more importantly its much healthier to lean toward the optimistic side. Research has shown that OPTIMISTS are 9% less likely to have heart disease, have blood pressure 5 points lower than average and live an average of 9.5 years longer. Worth considering a change of attitude wouldn’t you agree?
Y’all did it again…what terrific responses! Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and wisdom with us!
Realists are people who’d rather analyze factors of a situation before making a decision, either a positive or negative outcome will suffice, a choice is then made that will best suit the desired outcome. Its not substantial saying realists are really pessimists reluctant to admit it. Pessimists look for the bad in a situation, realist look for the bad and the good and believe it or not, at times, go ahead acting upon unfavorable ideas exposed by realism
Within the paragraph beneath Jim’s quote, I’m hoping that I provided a helpful explanation of what he was saying in context. 🙂
I like to think that a realist is simply one who sees reality, whether positive or negative; because life is both and everything in between. You can make something sound good or bad, but the reality of it is just what it is!
For example: A person who gets diagnosed with cancer. Depending on the severity of it, they may live or die. Right so far? Yes. Whether one hopes they get better, if it rapidly spreads all over their body then they probably won’t survive. It’s not pessimistic, it’s reality. Even if you “hope” that they will get better (positive look), the outcome will be the same. Of course it depends on treatments, how the body handles it, and so forth. Faith, hope, or prayer will not have an effect on the outcome. Why? Because it’s life, nature, REALITY. And vice versa, a less severe case may have the opposite and fortunate effect, because that does happen also…
Hope won’t really change anything. It will only make you feel better. It is kind of like religion/god and how people resort to it. It’s easy, brings comfort by hiding the real truth, and since almost everyone believes in god, it seems to be right in itself. Good things happen in life, and while unfortunate, bad things happen also and that will never seize. Sure, it’s about taking action and making things happen on your own.
Gianrel: I think that if you re-read Jim’s quote in context you’ll see what he was referring to when he used the term, “Realist.” It also seems to me that – while certain things simply “are what they are”, our attitudes can often have a huge effect on results, and for very logical reasons. You alluded very wisely to that in your very last statement regarding “taking action and making things happen on your own.”
As for certain other proclamations you make within your writing, you sound (if I may respectfully suggest) as dogmatic as those who perhaps hold the very opposite opinions as yours.
I’m glad that “realism” has never been one of my finer qualities. Because, if I were a realist the way you define it Gianrel, I would have been “realistic” enough to be dead. (not that I’m “realistic” enough to believe that death of this body is death of what is REALLY me.)
There is so much scientific evidence that our thoughts and beliefs dictate our outcomes, I don’t see how even the most “realistic” person could say that hope won’t make anything better. When we’ve shown that even a change in body posture triggers a hormonal, chemical response (Amy Cuddy’s studies are pretty conclusive.) And we’ve seen the effect that dopamine has – to the point that it is prescribed liberally for a number of diseases and symptoms – when it is a naturally occurring response to – HOPE and positive expectation.
“Hope won’t really change anything, it will only make you feel better.” But, feeling better changes EVERYTHING. Chemically. You like facts, there’s a fact. It’s nature. And is it easy? Hope, faith, belief, whatever you call it… it isn’t easy. It’s the hardest choice I ever make – to hold to hope when it SEEMS hopeless, to keep the faith when I SEE nothing to have faith in, to believe when what I SEE is not worth the effort. Not easy comfort – but hard determination. To SEE the rose when the bush is not yet in bloom in hope and faith and belief that the buds will come. Because it is NATURE that causes the rose to bloom.
Nope, I will stubbornly and happily continue to strive toward optimism and belief in miracles and my ability to manifest them. And I’ll continue to be forever amazed and grateful for the other really optimistic miracle workers who show up in my life to remind me what is really real. Richard Bach wrote a fantastic post (sorry, can’t point you there since his site is gone) titled “What is Real.” We had a discussion after and for me it comes to this – What is real can never be lost.” All else is illusion.
Dixie: I Love It!
So I guess I’d say I’m a realist – I just have a different angle on reality than most “realists.”