It’s human nature to want people to do what we want them to do. And, there’s nothing inherently wrong with that, providing we also care about how the outcome affects them. So, how do we get people to do what we want, in a way they can benefit and feel like a winner, as well? Through Positive Persuasion (a/k/a, Winning Without Intimidation) of course. 🙂
In doing so, we must keep certain principles in mind, and base our win/win methods on those principles. In his classic, How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie taught us that “people do things for their reasons, not ours.” Thus, if you truly want to persuade someone to do something they might not normally be inclined to do, he suggests that “you must make your reason, their reason.”
Asking yourself, “What’s in it for them?” is always an appropriate question to ask when desiring to persuade someone else to take your point of view.
Again, what Mr. Carnegie taught is so important, I’d like to repeat it here. You might even choose to write this down and put it somewhere you can continually see it until internalized:
“People do things for their reasons, not ours. So make your reason, their reason.”
Yes, all actions we as humans beings take are based on self-interest?
“WHAT?” one might exclaim. “NO WAY! What about charity and other selfless, totally altruistic actions. Are you trying to say that is based on self-interest, as well?!!”
Good question. And, we’ll answer that in Part Two.