In a recent post we discussed Tact and how it is perhaps the most powerful concept in terms of mastering the art of positive persuasion or, “Winning Without Intimidation.” It’s also a great way of simply becoming a pleasant person to be around.
I quoted my Dad, who defines tact as, “The language of strength.” Those who master the art of tact are able to make a “corrective point” in a way that helps a person to receive it rather than become defensive or angry.
We concluded with a challenge for us all to work on this very important skill (or, we could even say, “trait” if our goal is to become “a tactful person”) for the next 21 days and see how we do.
Now that we’re 10 days into it, let’s look at a few examples from past articles:
When You Must Go Over Their Head
Qualifiers…For People Who Don’t Like To Be Told What To Do
A Question That Will Open Them Up To Questions
Please don’t feel any pressure or obligation to read any or all of the articles. They are simply there as examples if you feel that would help you in your “tact-quest.” 🙂
Meanwhile, how are you doing so far? Please let us know.
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Hi Bob,
Tact is, I think, the most difficult skill for me to master. I take as an excuse that English is not my native language, but I must admit that even in French I’m a little “direct”.
You (re)opened my eyes on the importance of using it. However, I also feel that sometimes I should even be more direct than I am. Last week, someone I know well suffered a stroke, because of too much weight, lack of sleep, bad nutrition (she had diabetes). I have been trying to tell her softy that she needed to take better care of herself. Now I’m beating myself for not having been more directive. I guess what you are going to say: “you can lead a horse to the water, but you can’t make it drink” (or something like that in English 🙂 )… But, I also found out that my customers like my direct and strong way to keep them on track of their health quest.
So, where should tact begin and end?
But, you know what? You gave me a great idea to munch on for my next blog post… and my conscience.
Thanks, Bob
Bob,
Thanks to this challenge I have developed a new recipe book for cooking with “CROW.” I may even develop a franchise for it! I am confident it would be a best seller. All organic, free range crow recipes featuring Cajun, Mexican, & other cultural delicacies!
Seriously…I feel like I have been placed on the fast track to develop emotional intelligence, conflict resolution, tact & especially how to add value to others lives. It has been enlightening & humbling all at the same time. I count my blessings to have been introduced into this immersion.
Thanks for posting the archive links. Some of them were written before my “FB” (follow Bob) time.
Blessings,
g
Hi Nadia, thank you for your comments. A couple of quick thoughts, if I may:
#1 Sure, there is a time and place for most everything.
#2 On the other hand, regarding your berating yourself for not having been more direct with your friend…please be assured that you cannot want something for someone more than they want it for themselves. I’m sure you handled yourself fine and, had you tried to pressure her to change because *you* wanted her to, it most likely would not have been any more effective. Remember, when it comes right down to it, people do things for *their* reasons, not for ours.
In terms on the saying, “you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink”, while that is true, you *can* salt his oats in order to make him thirsty. Again, a time and place for most everything. Part of wisdom is knowing which time is appropriate for which.
Merci beacoup!
Hi Geneva, you always put a smile on my face with every one of your comments, my friend. Thank you!!