As mentioned in a recent post, a good way to judge someone’s character is by how he or she treats those who cannot do anything for them. What’s interesting is that for the person doing the “treating,” this goes much further than just being a nice person. The results can be life-changing, as you’ll read in this adaptation from the book Presidential Anecdotes by Paul F. Boller, Jr., as described in the booklet, “Bits & Pieces.”
“William McKinley, the 25th U.S. President, once had to choose between two equally qualified men for a key job. He puzzled over the choice until he remembered a long-ago incident.
”On a rainy night, McKinley had boarded a crowded streetcar. One of the men he was now considering had also been aboard, though he didn’t see McKinley. Then an old woman carrying a basket of laundry struggled into the car, looking in vain for a seat. The job candidate pretended not to see her and kept his seat. McKinley gave up his seat to help her.
Remembering this episode, which he called ‘this little omission of kindness,’ McKinley decided against the man on the streetcar. Our decisions – even the small, fleeting ones – tell a lot about us.”
Fascinating story. On a smaller scale, I was recently speaking with an acquaintance around the corner from his store, when two people, who were obviously salespeople, walked in to attempt to sell their wares. There being no one in the store, I told him I’d wait while he tended to the salespeople. He responded that he wasn’t going to; he wasn’t interested in speaking to them and that they’d figure out soon enough that there was no one there.
Being just a short walk from his office, I suggested he go and just say hello or at least acknowledge them, letting them know that he wasn’t interested in talking business at this time.
He replied, “They’re just salespeople. Who cares?”
Here’s my feeling: Even if his unkindness to other human beings didn’t bother me just out of principle (which it did), how could I ever justify referring business to him, knowing that, the moment he saw no monetary use in the person I referred, he might be just as uncaring, and perhaps even insulting to them?
Whether you call it, “Karma” in the language of Buddhists, “Midda K’negged Midda” (measure for measure) in Hebrew, “What goes around, comes back around” in English, or anything else in any other language, being nice is not just the right way to be . . . it’s the most practical way to be, as well.
Just ask the man who was turned down for a presidential appointment because of a “little omission of kindness.” Then again, he probably never knew, just as my acquaintance will never know of the referrals from me he’ll never receive.
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Being concerned primarily for our own welfare is a natural survival instinct. The human race wouldn’t still be here if it were not. It’s natural to want to feel good and take care of ourselves. Interestingly, though, self-absorption at the expense of others DOESN’T make us feel good. It comes from that “lack” consciousness that Randy Gage talks about. If you feel you’re not going to have enough, you can’t afford to give to others, even acts of kindness. Feeling assured of the greatness of the human spirit allows us to be expansive and generous in our attitudes.
I heard of a study showing that an act of kindness boosts the immune system (the white blood cell count goes up) – and not just for the doer of the act, but also for the receiver, and even someone witnessing it. It turns out, kindness is not only profitable and makes us feel good, it’s healthy!
I love your blog, Bob. It’s always inspiring. Thanks!
I can’t dare imagine treating anyone with a lack of respect or dignity. In the times of security cameras, there is always an “eye” watching us. Better yet….there has always been an “eye” watching regardless if anyone else ever is. The parable of sowing & reaping is apparent as well as the Golden Rule! All those things we hold near & dear. Your fella def reaped is harvest!
Not to get “preachy”, but there is a scripture….”Your gift will make room for you and bring you before great men.” We all have a gift of kindness, reciprocation, & human decency that adds value to others lives. I believe as we exercise this principle….who knows who we will stand in the presence of. Here on earth & there!
I personally consider it a privilege & honor to be in the “blog sphere” of great leaders such as yourself who continually provide these nuggets.
Thanks,
g
Thx for this post. I love your connection “what-you-do-when-nobody-is-watching” to karma principle. Excellent, thx.
Great example’s Bob! I think this applies to how people treat people online as well.
With so many interactions happening online today, how people treat others that they perceive as unimportant in the online world is just as telling about character as it is in the offline world.
Bob,
Great post! Here’s my personal anecdote to add to yours…
My very first full-time job after graduation was for a successful businesswoman who was selling Fine Art objects.
On my first day of work, she rolled out the red carpet for me, delighted to have snagged a young woman with a Masters in Fine Arts. She could not have been nicer to me but to everyone else in the office, she yelled. She ranted about how stupid her employees were. In short, she was verbally abusive.
I observed quietly. Around mid-morning I went for a coffee break. I thought about whether I could work for a boss who yells constantly and treats her employees like dirt. I also knew instinctively that she would one day be yelling at me. My “red carpet” status was fleeting because I was shiny and new!
So, after only two hours on the job, I quit.
On hearing of my departure, the woman yelled loudly at me, “You’ll never work in this town again!”
Fortunately she was wrong.
As you’ve so eloquently written, we are being judged by how we treat others — and not just the ones that we think will count!
Best
Franke
Hi Bob,
I love your post. Every thing we do in life is connected. There is always a ripple effect of the things we allow or prevent.
My rule for myself is always be you. Be nice to people even when you dont know them. It is not always easy but i do it all the same.
My younger sister got a six figure paying job just for taking time to greet someone.
You never know!! lets all work on our ‘little omission of kindness’
Regards,
Pamela
They say not to take kindness as a sign of weakness… as for me I would rather be weak…
Bob…your kindness is always evident in your blog and I am sure that is one of many reasons it’s so popular. Mark Twain agreed with your thinking when he said ”Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.”
Awesome comments. I appreciate y’all sharing. My apologies I did not respond individually.
I enjoyed this blog post and it was great how you had some great stories to make your point stronger. It is hard to understand or be live people behave that way.. but I know it is true. I feel like I make excuses for those people to myself to understand. For example when someone is not polite or seems to act with anger I assume that they just received really bad news or had a bad mishap that has caused them great stress. I think I see from your story that some people just don’t know better and it is a sad thing. I realize there are no excuses for bad behavior it really is just sad and I guess all you can do is share with someone how they are behaving and how it effects others and if they don’t seem to care or be bothered by it then you want to stay clear of them and their world. Even as I think about it, I don’t know if I’d have the courage to speak up?? I would hope I could… but I just don’t know?
Thank you Bob, you always share ideas and thoughts filled with great inspiration and support for others!! That is the best medicine to make the world go successfully and peacefully around…. encourage and support people, ALL people!! You are really wonderful
xoxo
Helen