Though the words, “Respond” and “React” are similar, the difference is quite significant. I still recall, more than 20 years ago, on one of his audio programs, Zig Ziglar asking, “Did you respond well to the medication your doctor prescribed, or did you have a bad reaction?”
The Sages asked, “Who is mighty?” and answered, “He who can control his inclinations.” A later interpretation of that answer was, “He who can control his own emotions and make, of an enemy, a friend.”
When you react, you are being controlled by outside circumstances, whether a difficult situation or person. When you respond, however, you are in control of yourself, of your emotions. In other words, as my Dad says, “You’re the boss of yourself” . . . and then – and only then – are you in a position to take a potentially negative situation and turn it into something positive for you and for everyone involved.
In Part Two, we’ll look at one example of how this played out in real life.
First, though, how has it played out for you (either positively or negatively) and others you know? Let’s all learn from each other’s experiences.
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I never thought about the difference between Respond and React before. That is a powerful concept.
If you were to change “know, like and trust” to “know, trust and respect” you would have another powerful concept. Our studies show that only about 3 percent of decision makers feel that whether they like someone is an important buying decision factor.
Hi Jacques, first, thank you for writing and sharing your thoughts with us.
I definitely agree with you that respect is key. I tend to feel that if one trusts someone (both in terms of character and competence), they will most likely respect them, as well. I could be wrong, of course.
One area in which I would have to respectfully disagree is with is your thought regardsing likeability. Asking decision-makers if they put a lot importance on “liking” the person from whom they are buying almost guarantees a low response. They don’t want to admit to anyone – including themselves – that likeability is a criteron for their decision-making. It would be like asking them if they feel they buy “emotionally as opposed to logically.” Most people would say (and they believe) that they buy logically.
So, I’m not sure that I would agree with those results as being representative of the truth…though I have no doubt that *is* indeed how they answered the question. Thank you again for your comments. And, if you disagree with me, I’m very open to hearing it and welcome you to respond.
{Note from Bob: Check out Jacques excellent site, http://highprobabilityselling.com/category/blog/}
Bob, I love how you always come up with great ways to see the little nuances that are so powerful. You ability to share with us in easy to understand stories and examples is one of my favorite things about you.
Bob, I love the way Victor Frankl wrote that “we create our lives in the space between stimulus and response.” Responding requires awareness which enables choice. It is what distinguishes us from the other animals, limited to the instinctive responses. I look forward to part two of your blog.
I picked up, or I guess downloaded is a more accurate term, “Talent is Over Rated” based on your suggestion. Interesting how this idea of choosing our focus ties in so neatly with “deliberate practice.” Rather than focus on the edges of our capacity, it is so much easy to shift to easier, more entertaining activities. But as you said, Frankl’s ability to find joy in the worst life scenarios proves for us that joy is hidden in the hard work as well.
Great everyday example of how we can “respond” the the way people “react” to us and “win without intimidation” which is an excellent book by the way Bob!
Thanks for sharing that story