A reader asks, “Bob, what is the difference between one who is persistent and one who is stubborn?”
I’d say that persistent means you keep on trying as long as you feel there is legitimately a positive result that can be obtained.
Stubborn would mean that you keep trying even when you know there is really no legitimate chance for a positive result.
Persistence is positive and is “results-based.”
Stubborn is negative and is “ego-based.”
Of course, that’s just my opinion. What is yours?
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lol! I’d say that was fairly accurate, although persistence & stubbornness can look & feel remarkably similiar! 🙂
Lets visualize persistence:
Imagine you are a Big, Beautiful, Tan Lab. There are bones buried out in your Very Large back yard. Lets name you Bob.
Bob wakes up today and is “hungry” for a bone. Bob knows the bone is there, he just doesn’t know where. Bob decides that if he is gonna eat today, he better start diggin. Bob digs his first hole right where he thinks he will find a bone and low and behold, no bone.
Bob is a persistent pup, always knowing life is full of abundance and opportunity. He thinks to himself “Where else can I look”. He goes to the next logical spot and starts diggin again. The more Bob digs and doesn’t find a bone, the hungrier he gets.
Bob knows in his heart the bone is there and so he keeps diggin. After six hours of diggin, real dirty paws, and many empty holes, Bob’s little nose wiggles, his eyes water and the drool begins to drip from his snout! Success! Bob finds a bone and the feast is on!
I would never call Bob “stubborn”. Bob knew a bone was there, he just wasn’t certain of the path leading to the bone and he wasn’t going to quit until he found what he was looking for. Bob’s persistent, and consistent actions led him to the feast!
I’ve always liked the P.I.G. statement
Perseverance Integrity Guts!!!
and I really do agree with you….persistence is Positive!
Great reminder!
Jody In Beautiful BC
Thanks for making your point. You were defining the “Difference” between Persistent and Stubborn and i got a bit off track i think.
The stubborn dog, lets call him John, would say something like “I know exctally where the bone is. I do not need any help finding it, as a matter of fact i know everything i need to know about bones so dont try to educate me on them”.
While Bob the Persistant Dog is warm and cozy at home, John the Stubborn Dog, digs for his bone late into the night, in that one spot he was so certain of, never checking the facts. Discouraged, John finally crawls home hungry, cold, dirty and WRONG.
Hi Laura, I love the analogy. It’s an excellent analogy for persistence which is positive and results-based. As you said, Bob knew the bone was there.
However, should it ever become evident – based on new information that is determined to be factual, and with solid evidence to back it up – that there actually is no bone there, then Bob must put his ego aside and admit he was wrong, and proceed to another area where, based on new better information (or whatever) it is determined that the bone is actually somewhere in that vicinity. Then Bob should start digging once again with total and absolute persistence, keep going until the bone is located. Does that make sense? I ask you to please not misconstrue the blog post as though I were saying not to be persistent. Persistence is obviously a huge key to success. I was simply making the point – just as Seth Godin did in his excellent book, “The Dip” and just as many others have in their writings that part of success is also knowing that there is a correct time to shift gears and go to another plan of attack.
I love it! I was just about to send off a letter appealing a denial of a previous request, knowing that I needed to be persistant. I re-read WWI (one of my favorites) and completely changed the tact of my letter. I have a feeling that using Bob’s proven techniques my letter is now more polite, respectful, edifying AND persistent and will result in a much better outcome. Thanks again, Bob!
Thank you, everyone, for your comments and feedback. Appreciated as always!! (Cameron, glad you’re enjoying the Winning Without Intimidation book. Let us know the outcome of your situation.)
Before I began my executive search career, I was in a sales leadership position. In that role, I conducted a reference check to a client of a candidate and was told by that reference that one of her best qualities was that she was “politely persistent”. I hired her, and she went on to become the Rookie of the Year and always ended up in the top 10 rankings.
I think the client’s comment said it all. Persistence does require a certain “politeness” but what was ultimately her winning characteristic was that she knew when to “hold them and when to fold them” and I suspect that is why she could be so polite. She actually possibility possibility the most important instinct for a sales person—the instinct that tells them that they have a product or service that their prospect genuinely needs.
When I trained my sales team to “cold call” for appointments, I always suggested to them that they should pretend that they were calling to let someone know that they had the cure for cancer. Once they got into that mindset, they were super-charged for the task and were persistent. It was the fact that they could genuinely see how important such a call would be that made them persistent. That one perspective turned a group of reluctant callers into the greatest group of sales people I have ever managed.