On the airport TV was a story featuring a “Top 10 list of Sayings That Annoy People.” I don’t recall what most of them were and found more than a few somewhat suspect in that they didn’t seem to be particularly worthy of annoying anyone. “Then again” I thought, “it is what it is.”
Oh, that’s right…that was one of them. Yes, apparently, people don’t like the saying, “it is what it is.” According to the report, it annoys them.
Actually, I didn’t know that saying was used enough to even be annoying; at least to as many people as it would take to make such a list. In fact, other than when I say it, I rarely even hear it said. However, I guess that doesn’t say much because I don’t watch a lot of mainstream television (Family Guy and The Simpsons aside – D’oh!) and, as a result, tend to be a bit out of the loop with things both very cool and very lame.
I’ve got to say that I think “It is what it is” is a terrific saying.
To me, it’s the ultimate in accepting that something, someone, a circumstance or a situation is…well, what it is, and not trying to deny it being so.
That doesn’t mean we can’t try and change it. If it’s worth changing and if there’s a chance of actually being able to do so, why not? And, if it isn’t, then we don’t try and change it and simply accept its “is-ness.”
Things are what they are and…well, “is what they is.”People are people. They often act in ways that are difficult to understand and in ways that are hurtful. Circumstances often put us in very uncomfortable situations. Events happen that can, at times, put a real wrench in our plans. Life itself can be very confusing and confounding. It is what it is.
Why is it that way? I don’t know. Perhaps it’s part of what Jim Rohn calls, “The mysteries of life.” They certainly can be, can’t they?
Sometimes, we can both affect and effect whatever “it” is. Other times we cannot. Part of wisdom is knowing the difference. Change what you can; accept what you cannot.
But, in making those decisions, when we realize that “it is what it is” we are in a much better position to operate out of strength and intellect; thus increasing the odds that we deal with it effectively and make the correct choice.
I just hope that wasn’t too annoying. 🙂
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I use this one when it’s fitting…to me at least. 🙂 It’s a simple summary of a situation, typically without judgment…kind of like a “hmmm, look at that.” I usually follow it up with an unspoken thought ‘you do what you do’ in response to whether it is action worthy.
Hi Bob, I think the way you are interpreting the saying in a more positive light than what some people are meaning it. (Correct me if I’m wrong). You seem to be saying this in the spirit of just letting things be what they are and go from there. I’ve heard this expression used and the hidden meaning behind the intention of the messenger seems to be more defeatist like “What the h***”.. WTH is my personal pet-peeve of all the sayings. It has that fatalistic kind of tone to it. Or maybe it is just this one person I know who says it a lot !!! LOL Anyway. The way you interpret “It is what it is” in your blog is way more neutral and accepting bordering on positive compared to how I’ve interpreted it. Just a thought 🙂 Still love your blog Bob. Always, Kirsty
Hi Teresa, I like that. I agree in that it really is neutral in it’s basic sense, isn’t it? I think it becomes positive when we respond to the situation appropriately. I like your thought on that. Thank you.
Hi Kirsty, great to hear from you. I have personally never heard others using it in a negative light but, yes, I’m sure it could be interpreted that way. One other person commented the same thing to me. Like you, she had heard someone else using it negatively, so maybe it has something to do with the first time a person hears it. I remember writing an article once a long time ago regarding a method of positive persuasion that was absolutely meant to very kindly make a point, and a person wrote to me with “dissapointment” that I’d use a phrase that is meant to “belittle” someone. Of course, I asked her why she interpreted that way and it turned out she once had a teacher who had used the same words, but in a very condescending way. Many lessons to be learned about how us humans think and interpret, aren’t there? Thank you for sharing. You always add great comments.
Hi everyone.
I remember the 1st time I ever heard this phrase. It was from a co-worker who was trying to express that something just was and that she was accepting it and wasn’t going to dwell on the why or try to change it. I thought it was a brilliantly simple, yet profound statement and I have used it many times since. I was unaware that it is construed negatively by some, but now that I have, I will keep that in mind when I use it. It would be a bummer for someone to interpret my laid-back, accepting nature for a bad attitude.
Kind Regards,
Ana =)
Hi Ana,
I think your friend (and you) expressed it about the best way I’ve ever heard.
And, I really don’t think *that* many people interpret it negatively, especially when it’s said within a context or situation that would imply it is a positive rather than a negative. Still, always great to keep in mind. Thanks for sharing with us!
“It is what it is” would annoy someone (very much) who was trying to make “it” wrong. They would be expecting agreement from the other person. By using this phrase, you are allowing “it” the space to be without making “it” wrong. It is my experience that people don’t like their complaints to be thwarted in this way and therefore be annoyed! Tadah!
Hi Dawn, great points. Thank you!