Utilizing sales or persuasion techniques – so long as they are based on pure and principle-based intent – is always acceptable. After all, while at times the term “technique” brings with it a negative connotation, it is really nothing more than applying a procedure or method so as to effect a desired result (paraphrase of definition 4 – Dictionary.com).
The challenge comes when it is “communicated as a technique” to the recipient. When that is the case – in other words, when they know it is a technique; when they “feel…techniqued” – they will also feel manipulated. Any rapport you have established thus far will most likely be broken, and broken fast. From that point on, achieving your goal becomes very difficult.
Example:
“I understand how you feel. Many others have felt the same way. What they found, however, was that once they {whatever you are trying to persuade them to do, buy or accept}, it turned out to be {whatever the positive results were}”
This famous sales and general persuasion technique is known as the “Feel–Felt–Found.” And, it actually is an extremely principle-based method (technique) of honoring someone’s concerns, letting them know you understand their feelings, assuring them they are not the “only one” who’s felt that way, and then answering their concern.
Yes, it’s excellent. Except that, by now, it is SO well-known, the chances are great that, immediately upon hearing it, the person will think to themselves, “Oh no, she didn’t really just use the old ‘Feel–Felt–Found’ on me, did she?”
They feel manipulated. Now they are suspicious; now they are skeptical; now they are less trusting. Hardly a recipe for successful persuasion.
In the next article, we’ll look at what we can do in order to stay with the Principle while not coming across as “technique-y.”
Meanwhile, are there any experiences you’d like to share with us; when you’ve “caught” people techniquing you?
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Bob, Great article. Looking for the next
John
What really drives me nuts is when the Tony Robbins clones and other NLP people “mirror and model” you while they are trying to pitch you something!
-RG
You’ve picked my interest. I can totally relate to feeling that way and I’m looking forward to the next article.
I’ve always felt that way when I try “Feel-Felt-Found” with my prospects. But I’ve found that most of the people I talk to are so narcissistic that they never notice because all they care about is being affirmed – even by a sales person. I’ve also found that you can’t help people who think they are God and know everything. How do you help God? You can’t, instead ask God for a referral to some lower life form who needs our help.
My question, is why do sales people feel like they have to sell everybody? Have you ever felt that way? I’ve found that you can’t sell everybody but you sure can sell anybody who knows they need help.
By the way, I just finished the “New Associate Sales Training” school with Aflac and your book, Endlesss Referrals, was recommended as, “…if you can only get one great book, this is the one!” I thought that would make you smile. Can I offer some personal advice? Bob, stay away from the donut shop! We want you to being doing this blog for the next 50 years!
Thanks Bob! I look forward to part two.
Kelly Wissink
Hi Everyone, Thank you for your kind feedback and personal thoughts about this topic. My apologies for not responding quicker; while I’m writing more posts while on the road I still haven’t been as good about responding to the comments. However, please know they are appreciated!
Other people know about Feel Felt Found? 😉
Well written article very knowledgable, is it possible, though, for you to head into more detail on this subject, I’d like to learn more and think it would show up better in bing (where I located this article too) if you wrote more on this. Cheers