“To have a body does not make one a man (or woman).
To have a child does not make one a parent.”
The premise is that we judge people based on what we see, and our decision regarding their life story is formed based on that very limited information. As such, we might wonder why they don’t embrace their obvious blessings. Or, we might take great offense when they are difficult to deal with.
How do we reframe this in order to ensure a win for everyone involved?
The good news? It’s actually very simple. The bad news? We cannot confuse something being simple with that same something being easy.
As usual, the solution begins with awareness. Without being aware of our tendency to assume, we cannot effectively deal with it.
Next is a decision to act upon this awareness. This means realizing that their unhelpful or negative attitude is more than likely not only not personal; it’s nearly always just a reflection of what they see in the mirror. Understand that they really might not like themselves.
Finally, by extending a pleasant countenance, an attitude of understanding, and even tactful encouragement, we have an opportunity to help them, and help ourselves at the same time. Of course, many of the positive persuasion methods we discuss in these posts are also effective ways to both honor their personal situation and elicit a positive outcome.
Dad has always had the gift of building confidence in people – making them feel good about themselves. And, ultimately, bringing out their best.
We can do the same. Remember that appearances can be deceiving, and that a person probably has a desire to feel better about himself or herself than they presently feel. Make the usually difficult-to-deal-with person feel good about themselves, and you’ll be adding a great deal of value both to their life and to your own.
Oh, and the unhappy child mentioned in Part Two? Typically, once the parents felt good about themselves and their relationship, the son or daughter felt likewise.
“To have a body does not make one a man (or woman). To have a child does not make one a parent.”