Was on the phone with my friend Judy, who told me she was enjoying a cup of coffee. Nothing unusual there, except that she said it was a “huge” cup of coffee.
“Why so huge” I asked.
“Because” she explained, “My doctor allows me only one cup of coffee per day.” 🙂
Being that is my kind of humor, I found it quite funny. It reminds me, though, of the very human tendency (meaning, I do it all the time) to rationalize.
As beings of the human persuasion, it’s been proven beyond a doubt – and taught in practically every “Basic Sales 101” seminar – that we “buy” (meaning, make a decision to act) on emotion, and merely back up that emotional decision with logic.
Yes, we rationalize. And, if we were to break up the word rationalize, it then makes perfect sense that we tell ourselves “rational lies.”
The “rub” is that most people – especially those who have not taken Basic Sales 101 – often refuse to believe that. At least about themselves.
In fact, I’ll just say right now, if you are one of those people who insists that isn’t you; that you act only out of logic…then please know that I believe you. It’s everyone else who acts out of emotion and then rationalizes their decisions. 🙂
So, how about it? Have you ever caught yourself making up a rational lie (i.e. excuse) to do something you know you really shouldn’t do, or to not do something you know you really should do?
I’ve personally gotten better. In fact, the last time I remember doing that is…oh…about ten minutes ago. At least I know I’m human.
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Hi Bob, I so much enjoyed this post. I laughed out loud at the “Huge” cup of coffee. It is so true and struck me as really cute and funny. I was recently thinking about the exact same theme in the last couple of weeks. Whether consciously or unconsciously, with every action we have, we have a corresponding thought or believe to justify it. Simply contemplating that for a moment could drive you nuts. Elevator or stairs? Thai take away or home cooked nutritious food? Plastic or paper? And on and on ….And then of course there are the heavier decisions and justifications with vocation and career choices, etc. I remember a friend that had recently quit smoking, they would actually hope that they would have a really stressful day at work so that would justify having a cheat cigarette (that wouldn’t count). I love the way you put it; “rational lies”. For my own part, my personal favourite “rational lie” is to not jog or work out because I don’t want to mess up my hair! LOL I find some of these so comical. Thanks for making me smile and bringing up such a very good point. All my best Bob!
Hmmm…”not work out because it will mess up my hair.” Thank you, Kirsty, I’ve written that one down and plan to use it…tomorrow morning right before I’m supposed to go to the gym. 🙂
…”not work out because it will mess up my hair.” funy,funy…..
Great post Bob,simple and powerful as always.
Will keep on eye on my excuses…
U’ll have 2 DM me tomorrow when you finished your work-out just say “Done” – that would be the personal trainer in me….the excuse is pretty good and I’m woried about you.
Sending good your way.
Lorena
So I made a promise to myself tonight that I would catch up on your last few postings that I had not read. The interesting thing about that is that I have been telling myself to make time to read your blogs for about two weeks and have not done it. Why…rational lies. So funny that is your final post. What I want to share is how accurate you are about how we rationalize. What I find helps us deal with rational lies is to surround ourselves with people who do not accept our excuses. That is difficult to do because most people don’t really want to hold you accountable because it means they need to be more accountable. If we can find a way to do what we say we are going to do without needing to be accountable to others, we accomplish even more. So for now I must go because I said that I would be in bed by 2:00AM and it is 2:08AM. Good Night and thanks for the blog.
The greatest problem with rational lies is not when we know they are lies, but when we start believing they are the truth. The power of the human mind is so awesome that we can be dangerous to ourselves and others with rational lies. I also think that most rational lies are not for others, but simply for ourselves and we want them to “okay” them.
We all equivocate. I know from experience what it is like to build an entire world, according to what other people expect of me. This is when ability is your enemy – there is then no excuse for not maintaining the falsehood.
I am currently working with recovering addicts, many of whom have been recently released from prison, and am noticing how slowed down they can become when trying to produce an acceptable answer. I don’t have any preconceived ideas or preferred replies, but it takes time for that to be believed. I can almost see their tentative sentences approaching the hurdle of what they imagine to be my judgement and being rebuffed by imaginary propriety.
Eventually, after all this editing, the multiple choice answer selected will be remarkable only for its blandness and rationality. These guys have spent remedial years learning to satisfy a judge, but the meaning has been erased. What I continually strive to do is uncover the truth with these confused souls.
It is more meaningful to me than the fifteen years I spent in accountancy. Fortunately my doctor allows me only one accountancy career per decade. 🙂