Studying people; the how’s, what’s and why’s can be so fascinating at times.
Monday, upon settling in my room at the Philadelphia Marriott, I asked the cleaning woman if she’d like to make $5 for ironing my shirt. I truly despise ironing and would rather pay someone to do it who would rather have the $5 than than they would to not iron my shirt. 🙂
She was delightful and did a great job. When I handed her the $5 she tried to refuse it saying, “It’s on the house.” Why she said that, I don’t know, but of course there was no way that was going to happen. I had to explain, however, that she would be doing me a favor by taking the money. Only then would she would accept it.
Apparently, she simply appreciated the opportunity to be employed and make a living and wanted to add as much value to the experience of a guest as she could. At the same time, she should be compensated for her time and professional skills, but her attitude was certainly admirable.
Then, yesterday afternoon, flying to Philadelphia, I heard (as could practically everyone) the man sitting in back of me and to the right complaining to his seat mate about having a window seat. “I hate window seats!” he said.
Okay, I can relate, but he was sitting in First Class, with plenty of room in the seat and – while First Class certainly doesn’t have the perks it used to, it’s still better than sitting in a cramped seat. And it’s better than taking the bus…or walking…in a hurricane or in the desert.
After the flight landed, he called his assistant and lambasted her for getting him a window seat and ordered her to make sure “it didn’t happen” to him again. Then, when I saw him in baggage claim, he was complaining about something else to the person who had met him.
The guy could suck all the energy out of a room faster than…well, faster than someone could suck all the energy out of a room (I’m afraid I’m not very good at coming up with clever analogies on the spot). 🙂
Two people; two attitudes and – as far as I could tell – two totally different altitudes. At least of inner peace. In that regard, the cleaning professional at the Marriott soars way above the other one.
Thought: Please don’t falsely conclude from this that “poor people are happy and wealthy people are not.” Both can be happy; both can be miserable. It does show – in my opinion – that gratitude for our lot and situation has a lot to do with how happy we are. And, of course, the guy in the plane just might very naturally be a person who looks at the negative side of everything.
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Isn’t it sweet for those who know attitude is a choice? I just realized that this knowledge is something I have come to take for granted even though I have not known it all of my life. Thanks for the post Bob, I now have the first addition to my gratitude list for today!!
Happiness is a choice. (I swear that’s what I wanted to add before I saw Teresa’s comments 😉 )
About a month ago, due to the influence of T. Harv Eker’s book and Jon Gordon’s “The Energy Bus”, I attained and applied a new skill. I made a clear decision that I would no longer complain about anything. Have I been perfect at it? No. But Harv Eker (Secret to the Millionaire Mind) gave a word picture that helped me realize how destructive complaining had been or would be in my life.
Basically, he described complaining as “slitting your own throat”. He suggested taking your index finger and doing just that motion when the temptation to complain was upon you.
Thanks again, Bob, for pointing out that we always have a choice to keep things in the right prospective.
Jennifer
Thank you for sharing! “The person who gives expression, by word of mouth, to negative or destructive thoughts is practically certain to experience the results of those words in the form of a destructive” “kick-back”.
Napoleon Hill “Think & Grow Rich”
Bob, great post. I agree; at the heart of a good attitude is a thankful heart. It reminds me of what the Apostle Paul wrote.
” . . in all circumstances give thanks, for this is the desire of Elohim in Messiah יהושע for you.” 1Th 5:18
Dave Hill
Amarillo, Tx
Hi Bob,
Great anecdotal demonstration of how people’s attitudes in life vary. These days, it seems there’s a direct correlation between the amount of complaining that comes out of someone’s mouth and the amount of time I want to spend with them. An increase in the former results in less of the latter. The more time I spend contemplating positive things, moving forward and contributing to what is going on around me in a positive way, the less I can tolerate being around negativity. When I slip and let negativity into my life, other people’s negativity doesn’t seem as repellent.
I agree with those who posted happiness is a choice. I believe there is also a formula to it. Everything matters. Every single thing! Here are some random variables in the formula that I know have worked in my life (there are countless others, but these ones seem to have almost instant results for me).
– not speaking negatively about others
– instead of talking about people, talk about ideas and concepts (unless of course what you are saying about the person is complimentary).
– to not expose your mind to negativity, whether it be TV, movie, news, etc.
– listen, read and only watch positive life-affirming and uplifting material.
– approach ALL tasks with a sense of purpose.
– finish cycles of action.
– Regularly clean sweep your living environment and your mental environment – Throw things out – Get rid of the baggage.
I reread your post and I think the man on the plane is stuck in a place where he can only relate to those small things that life presents you in a way that is real for him, and that is to focus and complain about it. That is where he will comfortably resonate until he starts consciously focusing on the positive. I better cut if off here as I could go on and on about this. I’m pretty evangelical about this subject!
Thank you Bob for having such a positive affect on my life. My friend Shay said to me today, we are all Mirrors and Magnets. M&M’s! Thanks for being such an awesome M&M!!!
Having traveled to many poor countries around the world I am often amazed how people with very little are quite happy and yet many in America who have everything to be thankful for don’t appreciate it.
Yes as others have said attitude is a choice