Ray Kroc, of McDonald’s fame, is credited with saying, “Be first, be fast, be different.” Al Ries and Jack Trout from the original classic marketing book, Positioning: The Battle for Your Mind taught that the number one way to own a market was to be the first one in that market.
And, those are both certainly valid points from extremely talented people.
When needing to persuade someone in a potentially difficult situation, let me also suggest you be first; that being fast is indeed good, and that you be different; in this case, different being friendly, ready to turn a potential adversary into a friend.
In past articles we’ve discussed that a matrix (the premise from which everything else will originate) will always be set for an interpersonal transaction; the only two questions are:
- What will be the spirit of that matrix be (benevolent or malevolent)?
- Which person will set the matrix?
It’s only when you take responsibility of setting the matrix can you determine the direction and most likely outcome of the transaction.
In the next article, we’ll look at a couple of examples we can use for future transactions.
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I may need a little help understanding when the use of a malevolent matrix would be needed. I’ll be the first to admit that I have innocently wished some people would take a long walk on a short pier. But never have taken action in this direction. Am I thinking too deep with this, or missing the point?
Joe
Probably best never to purposely set a malevolent matrix. If something is that bad, then the chances are that the matrix has already been set. Regarding your wish stated above, Joe…I’ve wished the same thing, many times. The key question is, “what is the result you desire?” Next question, “what is the best way to obtain the desired result (and in a way that benefits everyone involved and hurts no one)?” Usually, the best way is to move that person from the opposing side to your side. That’s why the question and answer from the Talmud: “Who is mighty? That person who can control their emotions and make, of an enemy, a friend” is so powerful. The key is being able to control our emotions long enough to set a matrix – or context – where the chances are excellent that we will indeed obtain our desired result.
Just in the right time once again Bob, always refreshing to read an insightful blog. If I’m not mistaken, you are teaching to expect the best from people, believe and stay true to your purpose, and the outcome is more likely to become what you imagined and hope it would be.
I am starting a few ventures and this is exactly what I needed to hear, can’t wait to read the book you mentioned. Regarding the ventures, we do want to be the first, we definitely want to be fast in implementing it and growing it, and most of all different that the “friendliness” will win loyalty and respect.
This reminds me of a snippet from the book that our friend Kevin Hall wrote in Aspire, where he introduces us the word “Genshai” (It means that you should never treat another person in a manner that would make them feel small.)
Giving people a chance to bring something good I believe is a good practice of Genshai.
This has been a great help to me personally as I deal with difficult people. My attempts at first may not succeed due to emotional reactions, but with this principal, it changes your approach, and it has a better chance of success.
Thanks Bob…look forward to learning more.