President Abraham Lincoln is quoted as saying, “A man is about as happy as he makes up his mind to be.” I believe that is very wise, and nearly 100 percent correct. I also think that – for those who do not have the natural inclination to be happy and don’t have the to knowledge to create this state of mind – any man or woman can benefit from learning happiness skills and habits.
There are numerous books on this topic, many of them terrific, including (but certainly not limited to) The Art of Happiness by the Dali Lama and Happy for No Reason by Marci Shimoff.
I’m currently re-studying Maxwell Maltz’ classic, Psycho-Cybernetics. He taught that, through our “creative mechanism” we can develop the correct responses to situations that result in a formed positive habit; in other words, without having to “think or decide.”
In his chapter entitled, Acquiring The Habit of Happiness” Dr. Maltz noted that “fully 95% of our behavior, feeling, and response is habitual…what we need to understand is that these {negative} habits…can be modified, changed or reversed simply by taking the trouble to make a conscious decision and then, practicing or ‘acting out’ the new response or behavior.”
Sounds like good news to me. In other words, if one truly desires to be happy and is willing to consciously change their habitual responses in order to form a new habit, they can actually be a “Happy Person.
In Part 2 we’ll look at a very easy practice exercise to get us on our way to this very worthwhile goal by tapping into another of my favorite books on this topic.
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Thanks for the discussion of happiness, Bob!
I’ve been considering for some time getting my PhD in the study of Happiness — and yes that does exist! Dr. Martin Seligman at U Penn has been doing much research into the state and being of happiness for years in Penn’s Positive Psychology Center. I figure with a first name that actually means happiness (felicitas – in Latin = happiness = Felicia, that’s me!) — it’s kind of part of my destiny.
I’m looking forward to Part 2 🙂
Warmly,
Felicia
Follow me on Twitter: http://Twitter.com/FeliciaSlattery
Hi Felicia, how could I have forgotten to mention Dr. Seligman, who has done so much to advance this science. Knowing you, as I do, you are one of those people who – just being around you – makes *others* happy. I’ll never forget how welcome you made me and the others feel when you were hosting the JV Alert Conference in Orlando. Thank you!
Bob
{Yes, follow her on twittter http://Twitter.com/FeliciaSlattery – you’ll be “happy” you did. 🙂 }
Bob, I was wondering if you’d ever listened to Dennis Prager’s podcasts/radio shows on this topic? He spends an hour each week talking about happiness. It is his view, and now also mine, that we have a moral duty to be happy, or at least to ACT happy. His analogy is that we would no more inflict our body odour or bad breath on people; why should we inflict our bad moods…. His thesis is that happy people make the world a better place, and do more good for humanity than unhappy people. While this may seem a trite statement, it is very convicting and far deeper in implication.
You can search his Happiness Hour podcasts here:
http://townhall.com/talkradio/Show.aspx?RadioShowID=3&ContentGuid=be41cf0a-3586-4894-88c7-627254261086
By the way, I really enjoy that we can follow you via RSS feeds! Your presence on the internet is a floating garden in a sea of confusing information.
Hi Luanne, thank you for writing. I don’t generally get to listen to Dennis only because I don’t take time to listen to a whole lot of radio and such (only because of time limitation; nothing against Dennis).
Regarding his view on happiness, I agree completely. First, I believe we owe it to our Creator and ourselves to be happy.
And, I also believe in everything else you credit him with saying above. And, I don’t think it sounds “trite” at all. In my opinion, it’s excellent, very deep, and implies much. Thank you for sharing that with us.
Oh, and regarding your last paragraph…THANK YOU. Feeback such as yours means a LOT to me!
Bob
Cool! I really like this article. I just checked Psycho Cybernetics out of the library to read after listening to a tape series by Michael Clouse. This is just another endorsement to get me reading it sooner rather than later.
Thank you, Charles. Much appreciated! Glad you’re going to read Psycho-Cybernetics. Made a big difference in my life many years ago. And, Michael Clouse’s audios are always great. I’m sure you got a lot out of them.
Bob
🙂 Happy is a beautiful habit to have.
Right on, Amy!
Hey Bob! Thanks for this retro post…I didn’t catch it the first time around…and am certainly glad I caught it this time! I really appreciate what you and all your readers/commentors (is that even a word? Lol) had to say and share. I’m a firm believer that we are responsible for our own happiness/gratitude/state of mind…regardless of what may be happening around us. The state of happiness and gratitude are choices…but I think for many, happiness and gratitude are out comes of preferred circumstances and occurences…and unfortunately, that makes your happiness/state of mind something that is controlled by external forces (a victim of circumstances), rather than something created, cultivated and protected by you, regardless of what’s going on around you. I love the idea of happiness being a choice, an option that is always available, if you only choose it. And now I’m off to order all the books you recommended! Thanks so much for always being a source of positivity, wisdom, and challenge…and an integral part of the ladder that I climb daily towards my higher self!! Super appreciate you!
-Sean
Sean, thank you for both your commentary and teaching (great!), and for your very kind words. And, thank you for sharing with us!
What a great retro-choice on one (make that two) of my favorite topics~our ability to choose and the value of habits. Using our mental muscle of perception to choose to see the good, even in not-so-good things. For example, choosing to be grateful when you get a flat tire; grateful that it’s not TWO flat tires. It’s a choice and it can become a habit. When something becomes a habit (like putting our seatbelt on when we get in the car), we don’t have to THINK about it.
One of the best things I can offer my clients is helping them form the habit of thinking about what they do want, more than they think about what they don’t want. Think about what makes you happy, even…no, especially when you are surrounded by things that make you unhappy. It’s such a simple concept, yet at times it can seem downright impossible.
Thanks for this reminder Bob. I’m gonna go look for Part 2 now 🙂
Very good topic bob….. and I fully agree with you that ‘Happiness is a decision’. I found this site on this topic very good…. http://www.happiness-project.com/
looking forward for part 2
Thank you, Linda. Great teaching from you regarding both topics. I appreciate you sharing with us!
Thank you, Gaurav, that looks terrific!