In our business parable, The Go-Giver, John David Mann and I cite “The Law of Authenticity” which says, “The most valuable gift you have to offer is yourself.”
In other words, as important as sales skills, technical skills and people skills absolutely are to the process of selling, without being truly authentic (and being able to communicate such), the “skill-sets” will only take you so far. With authenticity, however, the effects of those extremely important skill-sets will be multiplied geometrically.
I believe that authenticity is a natural result of integrity; where – to paraphrase Gandhi – everything you think, everything you feel, everything you say, and everything you do are in alignment.
While none of us (most of all, this writer) are 100 percent true to the above statement, it seems that to the degree we are, that’s the degree to which we will add true value to the lives of others and be extremely successful.
My good buddy, Steve Dorfman, President of Driven To Excel and author of the D2E Blogsent me — what he calls — his favorite definition* of Integrity:
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“Nothing hidden, being truthful and honest, doing complete work, working from an empowering context, and doing very well what you do; doing it as it was meant to be done or better, and without cutting corners.
“In other words, HONORING ONE’S WORD: Doing what you know to do, doing what you said you would do and on time, doing what others would expect you to do even if you haven’t said you would do it, and saying when you are not doing this as soon as you realize you won’t be doing it or won’t be doing it on time.”
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I like it. And, let me put it up for discussion. What do you think of Steve’s definition? Of mine? And, most importantly, how do YOU define integrity?
{Note from Bob: Being the man of integrity he is, Steve Dorfman wrote me after he saw this post to tell me that the defintion he provided was actually told to him by a friend who credits Landmark Education as the source of the definition.}
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Wow, this is powerful. I feel the need to acknowledge the power of those words (Steve’s definition) and I also feel I cannot comment because I need to meditate on them before I can even begin to pretend I am grasping.
I feel a strong sense of respect and awe for the man behind them.
Steve here — for the record: the friend that sent me that definition, credited Landmark Education as the source.
I really love your definition, Bob. It strikes a chord with me. Imagine if we were all “in alignment.”
Funny: I made the mistake of reciting that integrity definition to a group of high-schoolers recently — I say “mistake” because it’s not something that can be stated verbally and fully understood — better for one to read on their own. Two-thirds through it, the kids were like, “Whoa! – Whoa!…What!?” I suspect that a group of adults would have had the same reaction (mentally…not necessarily verbally) 😉
It’s such a complete and deep definition that it should be broken into parts and discussed. It has me thinking of the difference between: “Honoring one’s word” and “Keeping one’s word.” There IS a difference and perhaps that will be described in a future blog post…
Great stuff, Bob, as always.
Hi Dear Bob,
The following quote comes to my mind as I think about what you’ve written: “If a man is called to be a streetsweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven played music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, here lived a great streetsweeper who did his job well.”
Martin Luther King Jr.
I loved every word in every description in regard to what you have written in your piece about “Authenticity and Integrity”.
It ALL made me happy, and it was a wonderful reminder!
Quite some time ago, Bob, I shared a poem with you that I wrote, titled “Prayer for a Positive Attitude” and I had shared with you how several people had taken that poem and placed it where they could read it easily and share it with others.
One woman, though, had read the poem at someone’s desk and said, “I will believe THAT when I SEE it!” And of course, another person came and told me what she said…
Long story, short, the woman who read the poem had caught me not being true to myself at one time and continued to see that version of me in everything I did from that point forward. And I told everyone that I still had a lot of work to do on me.
I asked everyone to take the poem down.
And I didn’t share it with anyone, again, for a long time. I almost felt ashamed that someone like me could write something like that!!! You see, I, too, was continuing to see that one negative version of myself no matter what kind of good I did from then on…
Later, when I shared it with you and the short story about what the woman said, you told me that very few people are 100% true to themselves all the time. But in striving for what we want for ourselves, we come closer to being our “authentic selves” than if we didn’t try at all.
And that was a very healing time for me, Bob. It’s not wonder I think the world of you!
So, when I stumble, I forget who I am. When I SHINE (which isn’t near as much as I would like), I remember the person who wrote the poem with a dream in her heart and a SELF that is sometimes difficult to live up to, but ALWAYS worth the effort.
My prayer is to be my “Authentic Self” more often. I’m definitely a lot happier with myself when I am.
Thank you for giving me something to think about, and a reminder for my life, today,
Pamela
HI Sandrine and Steve, Thank you for your comments. Steve, thank you for your integrity in pointing out the source of the quote. Doesn’t surprise me about you, of course. And, I’ll look forward to reading your blog post that you mentioned in the final paragraph.
Note from Bob: Check out Steve’s blog at the link in the article.
Thank you, Pamela. That means a lot to me. You know, the paradox of your story was that it was only because you ARE so authentic that you didn’t want that paper up there. Had you not been so authentic, it wouldn’t have bothered you. 🙂
Bob. It will take me some time to digest those quotes. In fact, I’ll post it on Facebook and I don’t think any of my friends and associates heard of you.
In fact, I think your teachings are better than Robert Kyosaki because your writings seem to have more integrity than him. Some criticize that Kyosaki is all talk but no practical action, however, after just knowing you better and reading your book, my business and personal relationship skills have much improved in less than a month. Now I am taking the next steps in the events AFTER closing–which is keeping the customers happy and get more referrals from them.
High-5, dude!
I love Steve’s definition of Integrity! But, what I like better is that he was quick to chime in and give credit to his source, it speaks for his integrity! And Bob, the way you tied “Authenticity” into integrity is brilliant!
I have random thoughts throughout every moment of every day. I really hope that I am not alone with sharing this statement; otherwise I may need counseling (LOL). How I choose to act on these thoughts is strongly influenced by my integrity. I can choose to ignore the thought or I can choose to take physical action. “Integrity” is my internal filter for these random thoughts! Integrity can be closely associated with “values”; everyone has a core set of values (some people are more aware of them than others). I believe that my Integrity will never be completely defined; the filter gets finer as I gain life experience! I guess that my Authenticity is the result of my values and integrity!
WOW, that was a lot of thinking for a Sunday afternoon!
Joe
Joe, Thank you for your kind words and for your contribution. I think YOU could have written the post for me; in other words, your comments above are more than worthy of being its very own blog post as they are so filled with wisdom. I agree with you all the way.
Yes, a lot of thinking for a Sunday afternoon, but I’m glad you took the time to do so. You have blessed us with your wisdom. – Bob
Bob,
I couldn’t agree more with you and Steve. On both a personal and professional level, you must be authentic to be able to experience success in any relationships. The gifts and blessings of being who YOU really are, on the inside and outside make it far more valuable for those who are dealing with YOU.
Thank you for another great blog! 🙂
Cheers,
Vanessa
Thank you, Vanessa. And, congratulations to you for the success of your new blog, which people can check out by going to http://vanessamichelegarcia.blogspot.com/.
Hello Bob,
I like the definition of Steve Dorfman and especially the part where about telling the people involved with you that you are not going to do something that you have promised once you realize you are incapable of doing it.
I think the best way to explain integrity is by examining individual pixels on a photograph. When you zoom in on a picture you are able to see all the pixels, but you are unable to see the whole picture. Even though the pixels might seem to be randomly scattered over the image, as you zoom out you realize that each and every pixel fills it’s own purpose in the overall picture. That’s when I would say that each and every pixel contributes to the integrity of the whole image.
In the case of a human being you would look at habits and personal qualities instead of pixels. In an integrated person each quality would have a purpose and contribute to the overall image projected on everybody else who comes in contact with that person. I should be able to point to your tie and ask “Why are you wearing a yellow tie?” and you should be able to come up with an answer that connects your yellow tie to your definite purpose in life. That’s how I would define integrity.
What do you think Bob?
I think it’s awesome, Martin, and I thank you for sharing your wisdom with us. – Bob
Thank you for the great sentiments but if the ‘definition’ is the topic of discussion then i would have to say it didnt do it for me. It was way too wordy. Probably one dimensional.
No doubt it is a correct dfinition but there are many things you can add and also many things can leave out.
There are also some practical implications/considerations in the definition. For example ‘do what you know is right’ …problem is what you think is right may not actually be right…(to use an extreme example…Hitler thought he was right). Many more implications that must be teased out for a better definition to be formulated.
Just thoughts shared with integrity…hope i havent offended anyone because one thing i have learned is that people dont always take constructive criticsm well. I am only saying and doing ‘what i think is right’.
Allan
Hi Allan, to answer your last thought first; you certainly haven’t offended me. Opinions framed wth respect (which your certainly were) are always welcome here. We can all learn from one another. I’m not sure I necessarily agree with some of your premises (while I agree with others) but I appreciate your sharing them with us and hope you’ll continue to join in on our discussions.
The definition above which keeps being referred to as Steves definition is definitely the definition written by Werner Erhart of Landmark Education. landmark is a brilliant learning centre full of distinctions such as this on one integrity. In fact, the whole company is run with this definition at its very core. Please can we stop referring to it as Steves definition as that is far from the case!! :))
I have struggled for years with the scope and meaning of honoring your word and keeping your word. Honoring your word is the whole ball of wax; a context; a place to stand in the matter of who you are. Keeping your word is just part of the whole game called “Honoring your word”.
While we give our word sincerely, authentically, as a promise, or even in hope, we do not always keep our word no matter how hard we tried or did not try, we did not keep our word. When honoring your word is what you are constituted by, then when you see that you are not going to keep your word or have not kept your word, you would immediately or as soon as possible be in communication with the person or persons with whom you have made the promise(s). You fess up; it might sound like this. “I had a promise to do XYZ by this time. I did not not keep my promise. I am recommitting to that promise or make a new promise of what you will do and by when.” This restores (honors) the relationship of you to your word for yourself and for the other person. Note: if you constantly break your promise and don’t keeep your word consistently, you should start to question your own authenticity. You may be inauthentic about giving and keeping your word (looks like being sincere)or better yet you make big promises. Better to shoot at the moon and miss than to shoot at your foot and hit it. Another Note: if you are not clear about the rules of this game, it is a game, a way to live life; and you have not developed a strength in keeping your promises consistenty, i.e., the trend starts to fall, you will eventually stop giving your word and justify why you can’t keep you word with some story or circumstance beyond your control. That is why it is useful to have a coach who is trained in these distinctions.
I believe the definition of Integrity as listed above was development by the staff working at Landmark Education and the business practices and staff operated by it, and they make big promises!
There is no inherent definition of integrity. Many tribes of humanity define integrity with their own understanding of the universe. Some feel real integrity is continuance and stability, and other consider search of enlightenment. Some think as long as you are telling the truth, you have integrity.
But the definition developed by Linguistic Ontologists is a very accurate and practical one (described as honoring your word). Linguistic Ontologists do not deny the existence of supernatural, but simply acknowledge that we have no idea what it is (“your tongue should burn if you speak of God” -FF. Therefore any understanding of definition of integrity, stems from an observation that modern human society is a result of requests, promises and commitments. Modern human society became possible as a result of invention of language. Therefore it makes sense that to succeed within the current framework, one must fully understand the power of word as generative, in current reality. I personally do my best to stick to it, and it achieves good results.