Perhaps my favorite business relationship-building question – the one I call “The One Key Question That Will Set You Apart” – is, “How can I know if someone I’m speaking with would be a good prospect for you?”
This not only causes you to focus on how to add value to this person and the new relationship . . . it also communicates the fact that you are focused on adding value to this person and the relationship.
People who ask this question see magical things happen and new worlds (and potential prospects and referral sources) open up before their eyes.
However, one reader, Scott, asks: “What do you do when you know in advance that you really cannot give someone a referral. I’m in a BNI (The World’s Largest Referral Exchange Organization) group and there are people in certain businesses within my group who I am committed to referring to. Do I not offer to refer this new person business, or is there another way to handle the situation?”
Excellent question, Scott. The same would also hold true with any niche market you’re working where you are the supplier to many people in that field and certainly it would not be realistic to think you could refer to all of them. And, of course, it would be unethical to suggest you would when you know you wouldn’t.
The solution is simply to keep in mind that the main goal is to constantly and consistently “add value” to their lives and businesses. There are many ways you can do this besides direct referrals.
For example, information that would help them in business that you see from an article (either in traditional media or online), recommending books on general sales/businesses or something relating specifically to their industry, sending small booklets that are inexpensive but will have high impact. You can add value through a touch campaign such as do many of my clients and friends at SendOutCards.
Also, the more you can find out about them personally via the F-O-R-M method; knowing about their FAMILY, OCCUPATION, RECREATION and MESSAGE (things that are important to them such as a charity they work with), the more ways to provide value become available.
You can also introduce them to people who may be of value yet are not direct referrals.
So, there are many ways to do this, limited only by your imagination. The key question to ask yourself is, “In what way can I add value to this person’s life and business?”
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Great topic Bob. I would add that keeping an open mind when meeting new people is imperative. You never know when your primary person’s situation will change, or a different opportunity arises. Having two or three contacts in each professional specialty gives you options and backup. People move, change jobs, change professions…and it makes sense to have additional people “on tap”. It also sometimes makes sense to match buyers with sellers who are a better match – location, sub-specialty, or simply personality can make the alternative person a better choice for a specific referral.
Thank you, Beth, for your contribution.
Note from Bob: You can check out Beth’s excellent blog at http://bethmanderson.wordpress.com/
Great Timing Bob! I was just wondering how to add value to other people’s business without giving a referral all the time. What a great blog!! Its great to have someone give top advice on the mechanics of sales and not just the feel good motivation which helps but doesn’t pay the bills.
Thank you, Mark. And, the cool thing – which you picked up on – is that there are in fact many ways to add value to one’s life aside from directly providing referrals.
Keep thinking of the ways you can do that so that, aside from your product or service, YOU are the actual added value people see.
This is great advice Bob, I really think we just got to live our lives out this way. The comments about matching, having options for referals makes sense as well. Adding value, that is the basic building block of a healthy relationship, it is vital. I think back at some of the stuff I’ve done over the years and it has created staying power. I’m in the financial services business, 20 years, I’ve seen people come and go, then come back, because I have brought value and continue to bring value. Can’t forget it, continue to bring it.
I once helped a fellow in a difficult situation, over 10 years ago, this is the kind of comment I got tonight, “Tim ure not preachin 2 me if anything ure inspiring me 2 b better thx,Mr. Ross,in my darkest time u where here when no one else was i,ll never 4get,your friend,Pete”
We sometimes forget what good we have given. Frankly, it is refreshing and humbling to get that kind of response. That makes my current challenges seem so small and irrelevant. We do make a difference, and that makes it all worth while!
Tim Ross
Hi Tim,
Great comments. Thank you. Yes, I agree that adding value is the basic building block of a healthy relationship.
As a Financial Advisor, you know that right now many FA’s are struggling. One thing they can do to provide value (and communicate that value) is to stay in even closer contact with their clients now than they did before. While many FA’s are trying to avoid having to speak with their clients, the more in-touch you can be, the more secure they’ll feel, despite the current situation.
I have a feeling that is something you do very naturally.
Thank you again for sharing your thoughts.
A related subject that nobody has addressed yet in this disussion is this: Sometimes I meet someone and for any reason am not comfortable with them as a person or professionally, to the point that I wouldn’t feel comfortable working with them myself. In that case I certainly wouldn’t refer anyone else to them as my reputation is somewhat tied to the referrals I make.
What’s the best way to bring value to the person anyway?
Suppose you ask “How can I know if someone I’m speaking with would be a good prospect for you?” and the person’s response clues you in to the fact that you simply won’t be able to provide referrals. For example, they’re with a law firm and your brother’s firm is the only one you will ever refer.
When this happens to me, I ask this follow-up question: “What about a key connection? How can I know if someone I’m speaking with would be a great connection, even if he or she wasn’t exactly a prospect?”
It might take a bit of Q&A to draw a good description out of someone, because people aren’t used to explaining this. But it opens the door to thousands of possibilities. After all, connecting someone isn’t the same as referring them — so your loyalty to your brother remains in tact, while your value delivered to the new person is increased.
Hi Gill, great advice. The key is that there are many ways to add value to someone’s life and business other than through referrals. Thank you for sharing!
Chris, if you’re not comfortable with a person you meet, or even one you’ve known for awhile (in other words, the “know, like and trust” aspect just isn’t there) then absolutely do not do business with them directly or refer them to others. Your reputation is indeed very tied to the referrals you make. As to how else you could add value to them, there are numerous ways. One way that comes to mind – just based on what you wrote above – would be to tactfully help them to become the kind of person that people *can* eventual feel good about and know, like and trust. Thank you for joining our discussion. Much appreciated.
This is so good Bob. I often ask myself the same question Scott did and I hear the voice in my head saying “Oh no…I can’t send any business his/her way. Now what?” Your answer opens up a whole new set of good ideas, which could actually turn out to be more valuable than giving him/her a referral. Thanks for widening my thinking cap!
Thank you, Linda! I think you have an excellent thinking cap already! 🙂